Jesse Jackson got out of the shower and was drying off when he noticed a white band just above his eyes to the top of his head.

Fearing he was turning white, he called his doctor and told him of his problem. The doctor advised him to come to his office immediately.

After an examination, the doctor mixed a concoction of brown liquid, gave it to Jesse and told him to drink it all. Jesse did and replied that it tasted like shit. The doctor replied, "It was, Jesse. You were a quart low."

jesse jackson is a pretty articulate guy. although i agree with some of the things he says sometimes, i must say that most of the time he is full of shit!

Sam and Susan were invited to a costume party. Susan went out and rented costumes for the both of them. However, when the time came for the party, Susan wasn't feeling well and Sam went on alone.
A few hours later, Susan began to feel better and decided to go on to the party. She realized that while she knew Sam was in a gorilla suit, he had never seen her costume, and decided to go and see what he got up to while he was alone.
She arrived and observed him dancing closely with a series of beautiful women. She approached him and began flirting, and soon they were taking a walk in the woods alone. They then undressed in the darkness and had sex.
She got home before her husband and when he arrived, she was in bed. She asked him, "How was the party?". He replied "Oh, the usual - you know I never have much fun at these things alone." "Didn't you even dance?", she asked. "No, I sat in the den all night playing cards. The guy I loaned my costume to had a ball, though..."

One day Little Johnny went to his father, and asked him if he could buy him a $200 bicycle for his birthday.
Little Johnny's father said, "Johnny, we have a $80,000 mortgage on the house, and you want me to buy you a bicycle??? Wait until Christmas!"
Christmas came around, and Little Johnny asked again.
The father said, "Well, the mortgage is still extremely high, sorry kiddo. Ask me again some other time."
Well, about 2 days later, the boy packed all of his belongings in a suitcase and walked out of the house. Concerned, the father asked him why he was leaving.
Little Johnny said, "Yesterday I was walking past your room, and I heard you say that you were 'pulling out,' and mommy said that 'you should wait because she was coming, too...."
"And I'll be DAMNED if I'm gonna get stuck with your $80,000 mortgage!"