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Sajha Gazer
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Posted on 02-14-08 9:09
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The story has been moved to the blog section for purposes of future editing and re-writing (edits currently expire after 90 days in this section).
Sorry for the inconvenience and thanks once again to all for reading and sharing your thoughts.
Last edited: 13-May-08 10:51 PM
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The postings in this thread span 5 pages, go to PAGE 1.
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jantar_mantar
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Posted on 04-02-08 10:02
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Not to dismiss or undermine your hard work you have put on composing and presenting this story, but chapter 6 of the story came so late that I lost track of much of the context that were described in chapter 1 through 5. There are so many actors in the story that remembering how things/incidents were tied up is not very easy. And since the story is awfully long, I don't want to go back to the chapters to recall the actors/context/incidents in the story. The bottomline is, I appreciate your effort in writing and presenting this story to us, but I am not going to read chapters 6 and 7.
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jashmine
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Posted on 04-02-08 11:56
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It was a long.. long wait,, but nevertheless, i thought it was worth waiting for. I love all your stories and this one has also been a really good read. Hats off to you,, Sajha Gazer for writing an awesome not-so-short-story.:) Waiting for the concluding part. Hopefully it has a happy ending.. :)
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amber
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Posted on 04-03-08 11:35
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gazer Returns. what a respite for the readers suffering from writers recession recently here in sajha! to be very precise, i read "chapter 6" twice and one more time.loved each word, every sentence and almost all the expressions.this time the relaxed tone and matter-of-fact view in your writing makes the reading even more luscious. for the first time in the whole story, i am able understand/"know" the characters so closely. Prost to chapter 6! i've a few questions though. uday's outburst at the restaurant ,i don't think any men could possibly utter such strong word in front of their parents and especially in the presence of their mother. that's something very unusual. man parena!
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Sajha Gazer
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Posted on 04-04-08 8:21
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Jashmine: Thanks for the constant encouragement.
Amber: i don't think any men could possibly utter such strong word in front of their parents and especially in the presence of their mother. that's something very unusual
This one did and I agree it is unusual. That is why that event is a key element in the story as it marks a turning point in her thoughts and feelings (or at least that was the intent). Thanks for sharing your thoughts, it is always a pleasure to read them.
Gunyucholi: Thanks for the objective feedback, it was very helpful. To tell you the truth, there is no emotion that I knowingly hold back. Perhaps the characters reflect my own emotions and maybe I have not been gifted with the ability to express them in abundance. If this were an inquisition and I were asked to defend my work or have my head chopped off, I would plead that they show the right amount of emotion in keeping with the overall emotional tone and tenor the story. Anything more might have been a bit operatic and beyond my emotional, analytical and writing abilities.
Duke1: Thanks for the comments. I must say this story was never written to make a point. If people want to draw lessons or make points based on things written here, that is entirely upto them.
SunnyDev : Your words too won me. Thank you.
I want to acknowledge all the others who have posted. Thank you very much for sharing your thoughts, feelings, frustrations and well wishes. Thanks to the silent readers and those who have provided comments via email, chat and in person.
I hope to post the final part in the next couple of days.
Last edited: 05-Apr-08 03:33 PM
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Rythm
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Posted on 04-04-08 8:38
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I had just finished reading chapter 6... and I thought you had posted the 7th one too... but oh.. to my disappointment it isnt here yet!! I loved the 6th chapter.. and to be truthful though Deepti does act like a bitch at times I can see her frustration and her point of view too. Am eagerly waiting for the next chapter. Hope it takes you less time to post the last part. :)
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avani
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Posted on 04-25-08 9:37
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Well..I'm not sure about others, but I had been waiting for the story to end.....only because I wanted to find out how it ends and not because the length of the story got into me :)
Anyway, with that sorted out; I feel it was a interesting read...I'd read your story any day and time not only because it is dichotomous by which I mean all the characters (males or females) get a fair shot of wearing blemished/ unblemished hats of character, but also because it is not superficial.....Not sure if I make sense, but I sincerely hope I do..
"She saw it as a journey all must take where happiness and sorrow were just bends in the road to be maneuvered around"---So true!!
Unlike others I found chapter 6 (prior to reading the concluding chapter) a bit dry and chewy in spite of all the turmoil in Deepti and Uday's married life ..If it was a Hindi/Nepali sitcom, chapter 6 would've without doubt been a food for gossip for the women of the neighborhood...like Mihir 's come back from coma. (realistic? I don't think so!!)..in Kahani Ghar Gharki Ki...not that you'd know of this...but FYI ..it was big HIT ...
The point I am trying to make is--chapter 7 brings out better shades of chapter 6 (for me)..
Overall, definately a long read and definately with a lot of long PAUSES...but at the end of the day...it was worth all that wait..(and mind you..I'm not a very patient person) so kudos to your laborous hours of story writing..I really appreciate it..
Happy Summer!!
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Deep
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Posted on 04-25-08 9:55
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Awesome read. When I read stories like this, being a reader means like a reward to me. Many thanks to the writer.
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sndy
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Posted on 04-25-08 10:25
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10157 hits and you ask if anyone cares? Of course we were waiting for it...at least I was..it was worth the wait..but I had to go back to refresh my memory...not because of the wait but because of budeskaal..:) Totally enjoyed reading. Thanks.
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*
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Posted on 04-25-08 10:38
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i was also one of the readers who was eagerly waiting for your concluding part. very nice read indeed. please keep them coming in future as well. you are one of the few writers we have in sajha who can make readers wait for his/her story. thanks for writing.
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Rythm
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Posted on 04-25-08 5:45
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The first thing I did everytime I logged into sajha was to see if you added the last part, and I finally got to read it today. Have you heard the saying.. "der aye, durust aye"? Loved every word of every part. I did feel bad for Deepti and Uday because they really are no more in love with each other now are they? And of course for Neeti because of what Ashim did... but I guess thats life! I heard that the rate of adultery is high and the other spouse is really not aware of this. Good going.. Please write more.. and when you do please dont make us wait! Fabulosa. :D
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Sajha Gazer
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Posted on 04-25-08 7:11
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SNDY, Deep, *: Thank you for your comments.
Avani : Appreciate the feedback. You seem to be way ahead of me when it comes to Hindi serials but thanks for that piece of trivia. Happy summer to you too!
Rythm : Thanks for the kind words.Time apparently heals everything they say, even infidelity in this case.
***
On a different note, I have often been asked about the source of this and previous stories. At first I thought it best to disregard such questions but that did not stop them from coming up again. So I thought I would wait till the end of the story to clarify. There are two questions that have repeatedly come up: how much of this is my own story and why did I chose to write it? All I have to say is being semi-anonymous on this forum and a generally private person, I have no desire to tell my life story to people I don't know. Like anyone else writing fiction, I start with an idea or thought, tap into my imagination, draw from events, places and people in my life to give those ideas anchor and then mould them into something that I find enjoyable and rewarding.
I write for the love of writing and the latitude of thought it gives me. I get to create my own reality and live in it, even if it is only for a few moments. I get to research new subjects and explore the corners of my mind that I otherwise hesitate to reach. Things we all do in our own ways everyday. To imagine, dream and fantasize is only human I suppose. To type up those thoughts and fantasies might be borderline insanity, that I can concede;)
But it sure is fun .
Thanks again to everyone for reading and sharing your thoughts. My apologies once again for the delays, typos and grammatical errors and any feelings I might have inadvertently hurt. Hope to see you all another place, another time.
Last edited: 25-Apr-08 07:29 PM
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Phatte
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Posted on 04-27-08 7:53
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All I can say is "Bravo Zulu" Outstanding Mate!
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*~Spring~*
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Posted on 04-27-08 8:59
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Enjoyed reading it thoroughly.You got the skill. Keep it coming!
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bideshi
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Posted on 04-27-08 11:04
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Wow ,Finally got to read your story.Fabulous,spotaneous except I didn't like how Uday and Deepti 's story ended.I feel sad for Neeti too.Poor girl!There r too many Ashims in this world :-(
Anyway,hope to read more from you.
And last ,but not the least,Kuddos to you!!
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PunteDamai
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Posted on 04-28-08 8:17
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All I can say is, it was worth waiting for the final part. It took a long time to read it and I am sure it took even longer for you to write. Thank you for your time.
Now, I will be searching for your previous not-so-long stories.![](http://sajha.com/sajha/chat/smileys/m-biggrin.gif)
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Audrey.H
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Posted on 04-28-08 8:35
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Post me a copy when u get published eh?;) Dun forget to sign it tho!
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bhangeri
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Posted on 04-28-08 10:55
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All characters are good in their emotional positons. Neither Ashim nor Dipti is wrong. Infact what they did turned out to be good for both the families. Awesome read. Don't agree with title though. Waiting to read more.
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flip_flop
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Posted on 04-28-08 1:10
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.Dear Gazer - It was worth the wait ( I bet this might sound utterly boring to you but couldn't help not mentioning).
Initially, when you posted your story in parts, your story reminded me of the book "Hundred Years od Solitude" where the author mercilessly gave a task of keeping tracks of the characters, for his readers (I remember someone telling me that the author did it intentionally). The only difference was - he had characters with same names.
I personally thought you gave a fair share to all your characters, making their existence important and real. And also, chapter Six was a big turnover as it showed shades in the characters - Deepti's nit-picking behaviour on tiny details (First few paragraphs, I found it utterly hilarious) and Uday's abrupt action (For a second, only one word raced through my mind and that was "dang" in utter surprise, LOL).
I have enjoyed all your work and hope to hear more from you.
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visitor
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Posted on 05-02-08 3:57
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Great piece of work...thoroughly enjoyed it ..till 5th episode...
6th is for next week.
Last edited: 02-May-08 04:00 PM
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newton123
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Posted on 05-10-08 4:15
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Hi Gazer, I am waiting for your next not-so-short story. Hope that you will post it soon.
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