Marriage is an interesting subject to ponder about. Because it is so full of strategic behavior, understanding it can be very difficult but trying to understand it provides us with a lot of intuition on this tradition in Nepal. So, one day, during a coffee break in a KTM cafe, I pored over it, and jutted down some of my thoughts. Why not share it with fellow Sajhaites?

1.Mostly, husbands are older than wives. Since our population growth is positive, this means there are more eligible wives than husbands in the market, and hence the husbands are scarce commodities.

2. Suppose the quality of husband is uniformly distributed in [0,1] intervals. 0 denotes worthless husband, and one is the most eligible bachelor. Quality of women is also distributed similarly. Conventionally, men chose the women of quality index less than them. Assume the desirable difference as five percentage (this number pulled out of thin air). Then, the most eligible women (those above ninety five percentile) and least eligible men are likely to be unmarried.

3. Women's quality is more negatively correlated with their age than that of men. So, assuming optimum age of marriage for men is less than or equal to 30, and of women to be 25, therefore, women in top echelon are likely to be married in 25-30 years age span, if they are married at all.

4. Existence of dowry: Since from (1) above, at any point in the time there are more eligible women than men, men are more precious commodities and they command "dowry", i.e. to consume them, women (or their relative) have to pay.

5. Dowry is also proportionately related to the quality index: women at the lower index are likely to pay higher for men at the higher quality index.

6. However, if search cost of men is high, then women may pay high dowry for people whose quality is lower primarily because they don't know they could get better husband by paying similar amount of dowry(money). In Nepal, where is there is no organized matchmaking database, search cost is substantially high for women, and this results in higher rate of mismatch than in a free market with complete information would have resulted.

7. (Having a child) A combination of risk averse husband and wife is likely to beget children quicker than that of risk neutrals or risk averse. This is because they value stability high, and do not want to go out to the market looking for better options. By having children, they reduce their marriage quality index substantially, and make themselves undesirable in the market.

8. (Remarriage) Often, marrying once substantially reduce the quality index fo both groom and bride. This reduction is steeper for people at low quality index than those of high quality index. Remarriage is therefore likely to provide a spouse of considerable lower quality than the first one.

10. (Divorce of a spouse) A husband divorces a wife when he thinks total benefit of the wife for the rest of his life is less than total cost of staying with her conditional on the choices available to him.

11.(Murder) Murder is committed if divorce is not easy, and condition for (10) holds.

In jest. With no pretention of science.

Bathroomcoffee, Have you even looked at the divorce rate here in the US ? Yeah they will treat you special by cheating on you.
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You are right but dont you think this happens everywhere? Cheating shows your relationship is lacking something, so talk about it if not move on.

All femminists are lesbians is a very broad generalization I made. I said that to piss of bathroom coffee because I knew he would get offended. I think its funny. But in reality most seem to be. Plus femminism is just stupid anyway.

Anyway in American weddings the parents of the male ussually help out with the wedding and might give a gift, and also the females parents might do the same. Its not a dowry though. But ussually the male in american society has to have a decent job and enough money to start a new life with his wife. The guy takes care of the woman.

In America there is so much information anyone can get and so many new studies being done here and all the information is released. I would really like to know more about other countries and how they are. I would like to know the divorce rate in Nepali society. I would also like to know the happiness in marriage rate in nepali society as well. There are some countries who have different cultures where divorce is unacceptable no matter what, but it doesnt mean the woman or the man is truly happy. Ive heard a lot of bad news about arranged marriages (in the old sense).

Anyway why does the divorce rate in America matter to some of you people anyway? You seem to have such liberal thinking you should smile upon it and you also dont think sex is that sacred so you believe its okay for people to have sex with multiple people and not just stay in the confines of marriage. So shouldnt you be happy that divorce is an option? Maybe some of you nepali guys need an American woman so when your sick of her you can divorce her! But the downside is you dont get a dowry! Haha!

AndrewWaWa states"Nobody cares about what the femminists think. They are ussually disgruntled lesbians anyway."
Very good Christian attituute Andrew, Jesus is going to give you a medal for that. If you think nobody care about femnists ..why should anyone give a horse's ass about what you and you fellow Christian think huh ! AND IF EVERY FEMNIST IS A DISGRUNTLED LESBIAN THEN EVERY CHRISTIAN IS A RIGHT WING LUNATIC WITH A FREAKIN RIFLE IN ONE ARM AND BIBLE IN ANOTHER.

"Most nepali women believe in traditional values anyway, so they want a husband who is a man, and the nepali woman wants to be the wife who is a woman. They both are suppossed to share equal work, just different jobs." Another senseless oxymoron statement.

"At least most American men arnt sexist shovinest pigs who think women owe them cash on the spot for a marriage. As if the men DESERVES money if he will even THINK about giving his love. An American man who is a good person will provide for his wife and treat her special and love her unconditionally. He doesnt charge money. The money the parents give does help them start a good life together, and thats it. Its not a mandatory fee!!"

Dude you need to take a walk in the Trailer Parks across the country..he he Them bible touting, gunslinging, Nascar fanatics are quite the opposite of what you just described. And if you look at the last election results ..besides the coastal states...the rest is all filled with religious CUCKOO's like you who can't think for themselves. You need BIBLE and SMITH&WESSON'S help in every decision you make in life.

"ndrewWaWa states"Nobody cares about what the femminists think. They are ussually disgruntled lesbians anyway."
Very good Christian attituute Andrew, Jesus is going to give you a medal for that. If you think nobody care about femnists ..why should anyone give a horse's ass about what you and you fellow Christian think huh ! AND IF EVERY FEMNIST IS A DISGRUNTLED LESBIAN THEN EVERY CHRISTIAN IS A RIGHT WING LUNATIC WITH A FREAKIN RIFLE IN ONE ARM AND BIBLE IN ANOTHER. "

HAHAH!! I knew you would have another one of your "witty" remarks for what I said! You make me luagh. This shows what you know about life...no matter what I say you will automatically generalize because you hate Christians and hate Americans and are full of crap about every issue there is.
You have no morals or any idea of rules. Your view on life is absolutely no rules, there is no morals that truly exist and you spend time trying to refute anything that has an idea of truth, you claim your so sure of yourself but in reality you dont even know what you think. You dont even have a reason for existing. You cant even be honest with yourself. If everyone was like you in this world the world would be one screwed up place.

When we talk about dowry what kind of man in his right mind is going to want to marry a femminist anyway? They wouldnt offer a dowry they would want the dowry from the husband.
I think your jelous that American men get so much attention from all the cute Nepali women.
I think its safe to say that no matter where I post, no matter what thread it is on this message board I can expect a reply from you. You really stress yourself out on here trying to make me look bad. You dont do a good job of it either.

Methodman said, "If a girl is not willing to spend a little money to make me happy she is not getting a piece of my heart, thats for sure...."

Now we know you are a "Ho", got it, male prostitute for life. You pathetic slime bag.

Same goes with you Nepali con-man.

Andrew Wa Wa Wa States"This shows what you know about life...no matter what I say you will automatically generalize because you hate Christians and hate Americans and are full of crap about every issue there is."

Obviously I know more than you do Moron. Just remember there is a flip side to every story. I am just trying to show you the other side for Bible blind folks like you. I don't precondition myself with Bible like you, don't go around Name Calling like you. I don't let some book written two thousand yrs ago dictate my life(literally).

And where did you hear me saying I hate Christians ? Did you pull that one out of your ass ? he he DO NOT ASSUME Andrew.. TYPICAL BIBLE BEATER TALK. Its you who can't even defend half o the shit that comes outa your mouth. DON'T FORGET JESUS GAVE YOU A BRAIN ALONG WITH THE BIBLE TOO ..He He USE IT.

Andrew now I hate Americans too ? Where the hell did you get that ? From your Bible. Well I can Undederstand the going to hell part(for not accepting your lord your saviour). READ CAREFULLY BEFORE YOU MAKE YOUR ASSUMPTIONS..I am saying this from one human being to another..this might get you into trouble someday. DO NOT ASSUME...

You are full of lies. I dont do name calling and havnt on here. That is just being stupid. If I have I probably only called you an idiot if I even did that. I know that you called me a moron. Wow you are so mature and intelligent!!

You dont hate Christians? Is that why you always personally attack me for my own opinion? Is that why all you do is talk crap about my beliefs and the Bible? Dont you have anything better to do?

And you say I cant defend anything I say? Uhh okay I guess you cant read well. Or you just ignore everything I say. You have got to be kidding me. All you do is attack and then when I call you on your completely illogical outlook on life you call me a bible beater and say everyone in USA is a redneck like an ignorant idiot. Ohh I just name called you!!

Its funny you say I am assuming yet all you do is assume everything about how I act and how I believe. You are a total hypocrite. And yes you dont like Americans, if you dont hate them you just dont like them. You just talk continuous crap towards my people all of the time on here. Get a life.

I remember the topic being on dowry anyway. Yet everytime I reply to a message you come in with your personal anomosity against me for being a Christian and ruin the discussion!! Go polute another thread.

"Same goes with you Nepali con-man"

Why you musty, fust, crusty, rusty, dunderheaded, lunkheaded, dunceheaded sleazeball, grow a sense of humor! Don't you get it that I'm joking? What the hell is wrong with your brain? LOL, some people just crack me up. Especially you and Meera. Both of you are, bluntly speaking, idiots!

O Godalmighty Andrew !
Let me refresh your mind..who was going around girls indulging in premarital sex SLUTS ? FEMINISTS LESBIANS? NEPALI MEN SHOVENIST PIGS ? WHO THE BIGOT HERE ? Duh !!
I don't hate Christians, you were the one who came in here saying Nepal's Convertion law should be changed. Nepal is descrimative towards Christians blah blah blah. I am simply showing you the other side of the story. Just because your Bible thumping head can't take it does not mean everyone who thinks outside of the Bible is a Slut or Lesbian or a Shovenist pig.
As I had mentioned to you before in your other thread posts that DO NOT COME PREACHING IN HERE AND NOT EXPECT TO BE PREACHED. Your peanut size brain cannot handle anything outside of your Bible Boxed Brain.

And you also stated " So I just suggested Americans if they ever come across a good man of American nationality. We arnt all bad."
Are you ? We arn't all bad ? What are you ? Not just a moron but CONFUSED too ! Hah !

Chatmangoo said, "Now we know you are a "Ho", got it, male prostitute for life. You pathetic slime bag."


Yes...I am a male prostitute...by the way, I have a date with your mother tomorrow...you better remind her. :0

Andrew--

You use hateful language and you think American men are the most wonderful creatures on earth? If it wasn't for feminists, women wouldn't have the right to vote! Don't think you can win a woman with wine and jewels. If you respect women, you respect ALL women. Your God doesn't hate. You incite hostility towards women in almost every post you made. Check yourself brother.

Just to stay on topic.....

kankaiRiver --Not being a Nepali myself, I find your description of social structure uncomfortable yet I can accept it as a generalization of traditional values. The root of all these value issues come down to women's rights. If a society has women depending on men for support (which most do on a global scale) it takes special initiatives by government to bring women out of financial/social dependency. Every culture needs to elevate its social systems to allow individual rights and freedoms to all of its people. I hope that Nepali women, as a whole, come out of a patriarchal dependency by having more economic freedom in the future. Family structures are the most valuable structures in the world and must be supported. Women need to have the opportunity to make unions that are healthy and supportive emotionally. If the Nepali culture supports the higher education of all its people, I beleive the dowry system may be a thing of the past.

" Godalmighty Andrew !
Let me refresh your mind..who was going around girls indulging in premarital sex SLUTS ? FEMINISTS LESBIANS? NEPALI MEN SHOVENIST PIGS ? WHO THE BIGOT HERE ? Duh !!:

You just dont stop do you? Hahha! You have no valid argument so you just try to turn everything around back to me. Thats a childish strategy. You politically correct babies crack me up!!

Bathroom coffee seems to be the biggest prideful arrogant person that nepal has ever seen. Or America. You need to learn your grammar skills boy.
You talk so much crap on here. If you dont hate Christians why is all of your speech so full of hate? You name call constantly and call me stupid. Whenever I have a point that I have made you try become a stupid little baby and turn it all around like your in 2nd grade. Whats also funny is whenever I post in a thread completely unralated to any of the above crap you spew you automatically reply and start your Christian bashing. Everyone on here can just see how stupid you are. You arnt winning very many points. You just constantly make yourself look like a jerk. Is that what you want? Well its working.

This is my impression of how an argument with you goes:

Some guy: What is everyones opinion of the anti-conversion law in Nepal? Do you think people should have the freedom to change their beliefs if they personally choose to do so?

Bathroom Coffee: You @%#^&@@ moron bible thumping idiot! You are so stupid! You need to get a life and stop basing your beliefs on a book over (inser rediculous amount of years here) old!!

Some guy: What are you talking about? Why do you have to come in and show so much hate towards Christians? I wasnt even arguing about religion, simply discussing.

Bathroom Coffee: What?? You hate hindus and call all hindus idiots and tell them all to go to hell! You think anyone who isnt Christian should be murdered and killed! America is a stupid country and I hate George Bush everyone should have sex with as many people as possible with absolutely no rules of morality no matter what!!!! @^#@*@@ (insert cussing) (insert stupidity)

Some guy: Uhhh ok....



So that is basically what an argument with you looks like. Its a big joke. And you are the punchline dude! Get a life!! haha!

Andrew bro,
As you have made some stern defence about the moral obligations concerning sex in christianity, let me ask you a question.
I have been following this homosexuality in christianity issue ever since a big row erupted between worlwide anglican communion after the consecration of first openly gay bishop Robinson in Newhampshire. (I am a moderate hindu though but had to work on this issue some time ago). Before that there was a similar row in England at church of Reading and the newly elect gay bishop Dr. Geffry was forced to resign. And it was feared that the anglican community was on the verge of split between evangelicals and moderate christians. Let me recall - some months ago, there was a meeting of worldwide anglican primates in Northern Ireland. And I had with me this two clergymen for and against the debate about allowing homosexual priests at church or not. And they were extremely rude to each other. One accusing the other of going against the god's teaching and the other accusing of attacking individual rights and hence against the god's teaching in itself.
The bible seem to restrict same sex but that was written centuries ago. In the mean time, Christians are very liberal about conversion. They tend to convert any individual regardless of their past. But when it comes to homosexuality why does the majority of the christiandom can't accept them as fellow christians? Why do they retort and call them as satans abdominating the god? Why is christianity not as clear as other religion about sex and so many scandals relating sex surface out? Isn't this a hypocracy? Thats my question to you.

Ha ha ha Andrew Wah Wah Wah stop crying like a bitch. And thank you for the tittle,"prideful arrogant person that nepal has ever seen. Or America."

"Whenever I have a point that I have made you try become a stupid little baby and turn it all around like your in 2nd grade." Moron its called different point of veiw ..he he Which your peanut sized Bible boxed brain cannot handle. ha ha

"Everyone on here can just see how stupid you are. You arnt winning very many points. You just constantly make yourself look like a jerk. Is that what you want? Well its working." Listen shit for brains unlike you I am not here to impress anyone, not here to convert anyone, not here to win pointers from you either. I am just DEFACING YOU FOR WHO YOU ARE(not the Pretetious good samaritan christian you claim to be). I am comfortable being a jerk in front of a pretetious Bible thumping shit for brains Andrew.

Your impression of me ....ha ha ha You seem to have a very short term memory. On conversion law as I said before," DO YOU THINK YOUR BIBLE FRENS(Jerry Falwels, Pat Robertsons) WILL BE OK IF THE MUSLIM FOLKS CAME TO THEIR NEIGHBOURHOOD AND STARTED CONVERTING EVERYONE INTO ISLAM ? ARE THEY GOING TO WELCOME THEM WITH RED CARPET ? IF NOT THEN WHAT THE FUDGE MAKES YOU THINK IT WILL BE OK WITH NOT JUST NEPALI CULTURE BUT ANY CULTURE." Now reply to that IGNORAMUS.

WHOA !I hate Hindus now ? Pulling another one out of your ass ? "All christians should be murdered and killed ?" Huh ! Where did that come come ? THere another assumption(another one outta yo ass) "America is stupid"( ha ha ha then why am I here MORON)"I hate George Bush"(yes I do) "everyone should have sex with as many people as possible with absolutely no rules of morality no matter what!!!!" DOESN'T EVERYONE(its our animal instict but our human heart prevents us from acting upon it) Unless you have problem getting any.

Dude I have a life... free from all the bullcrap you limit yourself to. I dunno who the joker here is ...ha ha ha

Bathroom Cafee that was a horrible comeback you just simply repeated yourself. Your a big joke. You arnt making any points and your just being stupid. Grow the heck up you little kid. Your the one crying.

I refuse to even bother to respond to your idiotic posts. Im done with you. You simply cant seem to make yourself look more stupid then you already have. Its over.

And yes your stupid arrogant self cant stand that and will obviously reply and try to bate me further into your conversations of total illogical nonsense. So goodbye. And thanks for ruining a good post about the dowry system.

Maybe the original poster of this thread should repost a new thread about dowry and hopefully dumbasses like bathroom coffee wont pollute it. But he probably will anyway because he is full of himself and likes attention.

This one goes out to new user. You have replied totally off topic from the dowry system. So I suggest if you want me to answer your questions to just email me. That way idiots like bathroom coffee wont reply and ruin the conversation.

Wah Wah Wah Wah Yeah BITCH !!
SHIT FOR BRAINS CAN'T EVEN COUNTER MY ARGUMENT THEN YOU RESORT TO NAME CALLING AGAIN. THEN DON'T COME AROUND HERE TALKING BIBLE SOUNDING ALL HIGH AND MIGHTY. This site is not your recruitment pool.YOU ARE NOT GOING TO RECEUIT ANYONE HERE(or shall we say save anyone from going to hell) cause people like me are going be on your ass like a dog on a pound.....I am done with you.....
Over and Out