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cheli
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Posted on 02-26-08 8:22
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" दो दिल मिल रहें है, मगर चुपके चुपके, सबको हो रही है खबर चुपके
चुपके........" टिभीमा यो गीत बजिरहेको थियो । गायकको स्वर सँगसँगै मिलाइ
मिलाइ ठूलो स्वरमा मेरो भाइपनि गीत गाउँदै थियो । यो उसको सँधैको बानी
थियो, तर मलाई भने खुब झर्को लागीरहेको थियो, उसको स्वर सुन्नपनि ! " कति
हल्ला गरेको होला गधाले, यहाँ आफूलाई कस्तो टेन्सन भइरा'बेलामा! " मनमनै
भाइलाई गाली गरें मैले । तर मुखले केही भनिन, मेरो मनको कुरा फेरि बा
आमाले थाहपाउनुहोला भनेर, म चुप लागेर बसें ।
मैले सोचेकीपनि थिइन कहिल्यै, मेरो जिन्दगीमा पनि यो दिन आउला भनेर !
ब्याच्लर्स सम्म गरिसकेर जागिर पनि खानथाले पछि त झन् आफूलाई निकै परिपक्व
ठान्थें म ! तर पनि थाहै नपाइ, एउटी सोह्र वर्षे किशोरीले झैं उसलाई आफ्नो
सपना, कल्पनामा सजाउनपुगिसकेंछु !!! उ अर्थात् रोशन मेरो टिमको म्यानेजर, मेरो बोश ! क्रमश:................................... ...
Last edited: 26-Feb-08 08:28 PM
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The postings in this thread span 3 pages, go to PAGE 1.
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Yakku
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Posted on 02-27-08 11:40
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Story ramailo lagyo. Aru pani lekhdai gara, Cheli.
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cheli
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Posted on 02-28-08 6:53
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Yakku, story Ramailo lageko ma Dhaynyabad. :)
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ritthe
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Posted on 02-28-08 8:58
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भाईले ढोका ढक्ढक्याने बित्तिकै मैले त सन्का गरिसकेको थिए पक्कै रोशन हुनु पर्छ भनेर.... नभन्दै आखिर सबैको कथामा भाई किन हुन्छ आजकाल हँ? यो भाईको रोल चाँही सुपरहिट नै हुने भयो साझामा राम्रो छ चेलीको कथा ! बिहेको भोज थाहा पाउ है त
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Harka_Bahadur
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Posted on 02-28-08 9:05
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हन ए चेली आफुले मन पराको मान्छे यती सजिलै पयिन्छ भनेको, यस्तो हुँदो होत देब्दास, मुना मदन, हिर रन्जा जस्तो कृति हरु हुँदैने थिए होल।। लौ जे भएनी, कथा ko अन्त्य चै सम्योगान्त रहेछ, बियोगान्त हुन्छकी भन्ने सन्खा थियो मलाई त।।
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world_map
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Posted on 02-28-08 9:09
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ओहो! दामी छ लेख्ने शैली चेलीको! पटकथा र प्रस्तुती आकर्षक छन्। भनेपछि कस्तो संयोग परेको वाह! मनपर्या मान्छेले नै माग्न आउने! भाग्यमानी रैछौ!
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cheli
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Posted on 02-28-08 9:32
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मनपराको मान्छेलाई सजिलै पाईंदैन होला नि हर्के दाई जिन्दगीमा, तर कथामा पनि जिन्दगीकै कुरा भयो भने त के रमाईलो हुन्छ होला र!! जिन्दगीमा आइलाग्ने अप्ठ्याराहरुलाई कथामा पनि किन ल्याउनु होइन र ? धन्यबाद हर्केदाइलाई अनि चित्रेलाई पनि, अमूल्य समय निकालेर पढिदिनुभएकोमा !!
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dipika02
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Posted on 02-28-08 9:35
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म त गीत होला भनेर नहेरेकित कथा पो रहेछ। यसरी झुक्कौनु भएननी चेली य भने पछी भाग्यमा लेराकोनै रहेछौ चेली। बधाई छ।
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cheli
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Posted on 02-28-08 10:23
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Thanks Deepika,
धेरैजनाले गीत भनेर मेरो कथा पढ्दै पढ्नुभएन जस्तो छ!! :(
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pjna007
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Posted on 02-28-08 10:40
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katha po raicha --- jhandai chuteko --ma ta yo geet po khoje ko holaa bhanne sochira .
lau cheli lai badhai , sarai mitho katha raicha -- malai sanyogant katha haru man parcha, katha matra haina life ma sabai kura sanyogant man parchha
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dipika02
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Posted on 02-28-08 10:43
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"ma ta yo geet po khoje ko holaa bhanne sochira "----Prerana, same here......
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cheli
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Posted on 02-28-08 11:24
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Thanks Pjna, But malai ta bore lagyo, title change garna ni mildaina aba ta
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pjna007
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Posted on 02-28-08 11:27
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aba arko patak bata nepali title rakhana cheli yo pani naramro hoina, geet jasto lagney matra ho.
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cheli
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Posted on 02-28-08 11:49
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Sujhab ko lagi dherai dherai dhanyabad pjna. Arko palta dekhi bichar garchhu la!!
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भउते
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Posted on 02-28-08 9:27
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लक्की चेली-जी। डाहै लाग्ने के।
गजब छ, लेखाइ। लेख्दै गर्नुहोला।
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cheli
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Posted on 02-29-08 7:31
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भउतेदाजुलाई पनि मुरी मुरी धन्यवाद, कथाकी चेलीलाई बनाइदेको नि लक्की जिन्दगीका दु:खहरु उसलाई किन दिनु भनेर !!
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somewhereondearth
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Posted on 03-02-08 8:49
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मीठो प्रस्तुतिको लागि धन्यबाद ।
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cheli
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Posted on 03-04-08 8:28
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मेरो प्रस्तुति मीठो मानिदिनुभएकोमा धन्यबाद !!
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prem chopda
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Posted on 03-09-08 5:48
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Maile pani geet bhanthaneko. Ke yesto je payo tyo topic ma dimag kharab garne bhanera baseko. dhanna ke sochera click gareko ta dami story rahechha. Je hos sajha ko aru dhurandhar writer haru ko prastuti sanga compare garna mile khakai rahechha. Aru pani johos hai cheli jee.
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cheli
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Posted on 03-10-08 7:33
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Thanks Prem Chopda ji!
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SurNaTal
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Posted on 03-10-08 10:06
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ल बधाई छ चेली पात्रलाई।
लेखाइ राम्रो छ। केटी गूडिया हो र हेर्नलाई? पक्कै हैन। मलाई मन पर्छ यो उक्ति।
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