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lifeinspires
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Posted on 12-20-06 2:51
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as i was reading through the post on "questions to ask before marrying " ..once again i got to thinking "why marry?" (apart from the legals aspect of marriage) . here of course i'm talking about people in love. i mean you can live together and be there for each other...... i know some might say .. marriage makes u a part of the guy/girls family n all....but i for one PREFER NOT TO GET MARRIED. u can marry n try be a part of your spouse's family....but u'll always be an outsider ...always under the microscope. in ways your "in laws" think your primary duty is to make their precious one happy. you have to be the ideal buhari/ juyai ....when it comes to marriages ...parents tend to have great expectaitons. their own darling child will be far from perfect but yet they think he/she deserves that perfect man/woman....u know the kind where they can "samaj ko agadi chhati fulayera , mero chhora/chhori ko ta falana sanga bihe bho, yesto chha , yesto garchha bhanna milos" n what not....they might like n even love u after a while but you're never good enough. our families love us inspite of all our shortcomings but they're not as willing to accept shortcomings in the person we marry. "their little angel could have done better than you". well ....got sidetracked there ....but ....share ideas on why we should or should not marry, do u want to marry,will you marry or anyting else that's even remotely close to this topic...
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Nepal ko chora
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Posted on 12-20-06 4:15
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Let's see what other has to say to about "marriage": Perfect marriage is based on a perfect misunderstanding. - Oscar Wilde. An archaeologist is the best husband a woman can have; The older she gets, the more interested he is in her. - Agatha Christhe. I haven't spoken to my wife in years; I didn't want to interrupt her. - Rodney Dangerfield. Love is blind but marriage is an eye-opener. Marriage is a three-ring circus: - engagement ring - wedding ring - suffering. Every man should get married some time; After all, happiness is not the only thing in life! - Anonymous. Bachelors should be heavily taxed. It's not fair that some men should be happier than others. - Oscar Wilde. Bachelors know more about women than married men. If they didn't, they'd be married too! - H. L. Mencken. A psychiatrist is a person who will give you expensive answers, That your wife will give you for free. - Anonymous. When a newly married couple smiles, everyone knows why, when a ten-year married couple smiles, everyone wonders why. When a man opens the door of his car for his wife You can be sure of one thing: either the car is new or the wife. I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back to home always. - Anonymous. I asked my wife, ? Where do you want to go for our anniversary?" She said, ? Somewhere I have never been!? I asked her, " How about our kitchen?? -Anonymous. We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops. - Anonymous. My wife was in beauty saloon for two hours. That was only for the estimate. - Anonymous. She got a mudpack and looked great for two days. Then the mud fell off. - Anonymous. She ran after the garbage truck, ? Am I too late for the garbage?" Following her down the street I yelled, " No, jump in ". - Anonymous. If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife yelling at the front door, Who do you let in first? The dog, of course. At least he'll shut up if you let him in. - Anonymous. Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candle light dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesday, I go Friday. - Henry Youngman. Do you know what it means to come home at night to a woman who will give you a little love, little affection, little tenderness? It means you are in the wrong house. -George Burns. Happiness is having a large, loving, caring close-knit family. in ANOTHER city. - Anonymous. :P :P
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SimpleGal
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Posted on 12-20-06 5:09
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Captain Haddock wrote: "a reliable companion, as I see it, is someone who is obliged to and can give you their undivided attention when you need it. I have many friends but I don't think I can call them and pour my heart out to them. Sure when you are 17 you can do that but at some point your circle of friends becomes smaller and smaller. Who are you going to go to for emotional support then? And don't tell me you dont need emotional support - we all do - it just the degree that varies." Very true! I'm glad to see that some men feel this way about marriage and relationships. :-)
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AbsolutelyObsolete
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Posted on 12-20-06 5:19
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The most happy marriage I can imagine to myself would be the union of a deaf man to a blind woman. - S. T. Coleridge
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Captain Haddock
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Posted on 12-20-06 6:00
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LOL @ SimpleGal ! So men don't feel that way, ya? :) Its just the women who do, huh? Oh that enlightened gender! ha ha ha Hope all's well with you this evening. :)
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lootekukur
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Posted on 12-20-06 6:23
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LOL @ captain...hehe...true that, some women think that they only have emotions and that all men are emotionless creature who don't need any support. i wonder what could be their perceptions about dogs :P LooTe
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sayami
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Posted on 12-20-06 6:27
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hyperthread
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Posted on 12-20-06 6:37
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The Question here should be Why Not to marry?
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sayami
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Posted on 12-20-06 6:43
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. Otherwise these pepper chillis will be out of job. . .
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TM
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Posted on 12-20-06 6:45
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Marriage is an insurance policy for men who have a hard time getting laid. -TM
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Nepal ko chora
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Posted on 12-20-06 6:55
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Good discussion is going on here about "WHY TO GET MARRIED?" Ok here are my two cents in the topic. Although living together is now acceptable, research have shown that 60 per cent of cohabiting couples still get married after a few years. We can live together and settle down without marriage but you can't find the security, satisfaction, commitment as you can find in a married relationship. The first and the most important factor is that you are in LOVE. It is the most important element in the most successful relationships, tho it should not be the only reason for getting married. Then comes the feeling of reliable companiosship and commitment. At first you need to know each other's faults and failings and then you can decide if you want to be together forever. If you enjoyed a a secure and committed relationship for some time and and mentally prepared for bringing up children in a good environment, marriage is the most logical step. The ceremony of marriage is an integral part of our culture as well. Another reason to get married is to start a family. As time flows, you will be left with less and lesser good friends as they vanish in their own world. If you have enjoyed a secure and committed relationship for some time and feel marriage is the best environment in which to bring up children, marriage is the your best weapon you have in your shelf. But you should not get married just because of the dear of being alone or to recover from previous unsuccessful marriages.
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pacifier
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Posted on 12-20-06 7:17
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Feel like gettin married now, after all, sajha pundits are awesome:D
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sayami
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Posted on 12-20-06 8:00
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PowerGal
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Posted on 12-20-06 9:31
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Emmmmmmmmm..I would say you gotta marry to feel secure about your relationship.. But for Nepali people we have to get married in time for our parent's sake.. They will be worried if we are not married..
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real_me
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Posted on 12-20-06 9:35
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It is just social licensce to have sex with one partner. Actually everybody wants more and start cheating. Exchange of compromises between man and woman. All bullshit and dhoka. There's beautiful relationship even without marriage.No cheap commitment, no bargain, no limitation to have partners, no fake promises and no more lies. Isn't that wonderful?
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Rahuldai
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Posted on 12-20-06 9:40
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हिन्दी मा एउटा कहाँवत छ, शादी वो लड्ड है जो खावे वह पछुताए जो न खावे वह भि पछुताए
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oldmaven
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Posted on 12-20-06 10:04
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LifeInspires... Your post ( the 1st one ) doesnt seem to clarify if a husband and a wife starts a neutral family away from their parents. I personally feel "parents" are never a problem. They are just "another" society whom you deal with care. of course, extreme care. So, you'd love to "live-in" preferably rather than getting into papers/marrying actually. Thats readily acceptable , but doesnt that .. a little slightly .. signify you're not still ready for commitment. OK, if you say .. NOT .. i am devoted to him, i just dont want to MARRY. its perfect again. As long as you say : you dont turn away at bad times of each other , and remain together only sharing good times .. you're perfectly OKAY for a live-in. BUT then again, if you wanted to have a child ! If the child wants your hubby to be called his father , and you his mother. Or , lets say .. he turns out to be one of an urban guy who says : my parents are not married ! :P .. All depends upon perceptions. And i am just jotting some of my little weirdos. If you ask me about this .. i would say I would definitely marry .. but then .. truly i want to spend some time together as a live-in with my partner. NOT that i wouldnt trust her , but just because i found her a bit early ??? lol . is that a valid reason? hmm .. i would marry my girl but then .. with her staying with me and sharing my ups n downs " literally" ;) .. would be considered a marriage to me already. i dont believe in divorces as of now. One cant simply let go the other. If its so, i would say.. they were never happy. they never married! "literally" again !!!
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wowal
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Posted on 12-20-06 10:35
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I don't know exactly how you guys feel about it, my views about it are clear on one thing. It doesn't matter someone is married or living with gf/bf, once it comes to cheating to their gf/bf or husband/wife everyone looks same. Honesty, commitment, and reality/emotion are the main factor behind any successful relationship. Yes, everyone has problem in their life. If someone thinks the gf/bf will say, "Ok I'm out of this relationship, I’m tired of you." just because they are not married. Then, sorry friends I can't agree with that. There lots of married people who got divorce in their late 60s as well. And there are lots of people who are living their life till their last breath with out getting married too. The key point here is that every relationship has problems; people who are not willing to deal with it and don't try to solve it won’t be able to be stay long time with their partners or husband/wife. And once it comes to cheating why most of the time men are blamed? LOL. Guys try to be honest here; how many time you have heard people saying they slept with some married girl or someone’s gf. What does that mean? Does it mean the guy who slept with or enjoyed the moment with her is blamed, or the girl is also equally responsible for that? So, please try not to blame any gender for not having good relationship. Finally, the all I would like to say is, there is not any relationship without problems. If someone says he/she never had any problems in their relationship (any kind) and they are happy, I can bet either they are liar or they don’t have good relationship. The thing is we born with problems, and we gotta face it. Couples who are willing to face their problem and can deal with it properly are the happiest couple ever. Please, no offense to anyone with different views. Feel free to comment. That’s why we have sajha here, correct? Wish you all a Happy Holiday, I wish for your prosperity. peace
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ImI
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Posted on 12-20-06 11:28
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Very Simple and yet very deep meaning .. "A marriage completes the person" not filmy dialogue ..i can give you my perspective in cultural, religious aspect not just love. If anyone interested , just ask :)..otherwise as usually i love leaving quotes (wise ass:P hehe)
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live_wire
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Posted on 12-21-06 11:13
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people get married to get settled and raise a family. it can be understood as a social ritual that can be seen in various forms across cultures. typically, a man and a woman start a domestic space that can be called "home." A "house" in turn is a place where we accumulate "stuff." a stable house hold with families are early sign of civilization and origins of power/class/status in human society. why marry? is vast question. if taken lightly, it will generate subjective answers. why marry? to be with the one that i love. why marry? to get away from the one that i used to love. why marry? for family why marry? for sex why marry? for social obligation why marry? for santan why marry? orelse i cannot get my purkha ko paisa why mary? all of the above
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sajhauser
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Posted on 12-21-06 1:25
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for society, insurance, benefits.... else two people could stay together without getting married...like brad pitt and jolie
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