Dear Nepalese people,

I very sadly announce that I am no more the ?would be? prime minister of Nepal. Democracy is gone out of the window and the only thing I regret the most is that I was not able to make enough money as compared to the communists in their regime. I do not feel remorse for beguiling Nepalese people time and again because they themselves have been gullible for ages. If they cannot make a smart person, we cannot help ourselves cheating them.

The best part of democracy was Sujata making loads of money along with a nice bungalow where she sleeps with?.I mean sleeps many politicians who do not have a house in kathmandu. Also, Sekhar being a vice chancellor and nona bhauju attaing supreme powers were other benefits. Demise of top notch communist leaders and failure of Kishunji and Ganeshmanji were extraordinary issues, they paved my way to Baluwatar. Kishunji is an impotent drunkard; I wonder why you guys prefer him as a prime minister instead of me. You always make me work hard to oust him. Also, I do not see Maoists as threats, as long as they exist, the government allocates budget for their elimination only to be devoured by me and my fellow politicians. May Maoism live longer in Nepal.

I had some sleepless nights during Lauda-Air crisis. God! They almost threw me off. But then money rules and so do the lawyers. Goddamn communists, they never bury the hatchet. I can bring a few skeletons out of their closets too, Infact, Bharat Mohan as a whole mortuary in his closet.

I also do not care what Manisha says. She is a bigger slut than Sujata?..Oops! I mean Samantha (Fox). Seriously speaking, she beats sandaju BP when it comes to comparing their libido. Never ceases chasing men. I hear that she is sleeping with an African now, earlier there was Nana Patekar. Ugly men? yuck!!!

Surprisingly, Surya Bahadurji did not exhibit his political acumen all this time, there always was rumor of he being a smart leader. I wonder why Pashupati Samsher and Chandji need to join politics, they are affluent people, why do they need more money? I have similar disagreement with the king, were surya tobacco and soaltee hotel not enough? Why doesn?t he leave something for us? In this context, I highly support Deuba. He comes from a poor family, let him reap some good lump of money. But there is a situation, he is such a dumbass that I need to tell him where the sources are. Imbecile moron! Couldn?t work Mid-Marsyangdi out?.. he could have made billions.

I need a lot to say, but I am not good in typing, typing this page took me three hours, and now??malai aachi aayo?.

So long,
UHI TAPAI HARUKO
Girija Prasad