I am very serious here. I am not faking or making anything. I have been in relationship with a nice nepali girl for long time. Its been more than couple of years. we were totally devoted and committed to each other. we both are educated and mature. we even talked with our parents about each other and they were also very happy for both of us as we are from same caste too.

I will not write here how much i loved her and still do and what i did for her and everything. To make this story short, I just want to say this, i always gave her love, respected her, encouraged her, treated her as my best friend, my girl friend and my wife. we have spend time together as well, meaning cooking, grocery shopping, going out, washing dishes, and so many things.

I believe that she also loved me a lot. she took teej ko brata for me, prayed for my success, asked me to meet her parents and asked me to talk about marriage and i did that as well. Everythign was so perfect in my life.

My wonderful life suddenly changed few months ago when I learnt that my beloved girl is going out with some other guy. she cheated me. When i found out about this, i requested her to come back and asked her why she did this to me. she had no answer for that and she jsut tried to get away from me. since i had known her family and frined well, I called them to know if they know about anything related to this. Noone knew at that time. but irony is, she thought that i told everyone that she is cheating on me and dating some guy, but that was not the case. i never told anyone about that at that time. why would i do that when i treated her as my wife. This incident might have irritated her and she became closer with other guy and had physical relationship as well. I guess she did not think about anything at that time. she did not think about consequences.

After I knew she is cheating on me, i could not control myself and because of this I screwed up my semester. I screwed up so badly that I could not get over with this. That thing completely changed my career and I am no where now. I am struggling just to save my status. I am not explaining everything here but i went through a lot because of this. I am totally depressed and thought about so many bad things. Many bad things started to came in my mind.

I tried to forget her but could not do so. I still love her very much and I want her back. she knows this very well. we still talk to each other. Now she is saying that she just want to be friend with me and she does nt want to talk about love and marriage now. she does nt deny that she still love me and care about me. I dont know if she gonna come back to me or not. she has accepted her fault and she knows that she destroyed my life while whatever she is doing now is because of me. I did so much for her and she knows this.
she sometime says, she broke the promise she has given to me and slept with someone else so she can not come back to me. But i told her that please forget about that and just come back to me. I told her that do not compare my love and respect and our long relationship with one sex. I also want to say you one thing that we too slept together as well. For me, I really love her and want her back but i dont know what she is thinking. I still dont understand that is it because of guiltyness that she is hesitating to come back because she cheated on me or she really wants to go away from me. if she wants to go away from me, why she is still talking to me? I told her that i can not be friend with her. I told her that I can either be her husband/bf or no one. i can forgive her if she come back to me and say sorry but if she tries to be just friend with me, then i will say she used me and threw in trash.

I am expecting some comments from girls/women here. is it possible for a girl to come back after all this. I mean she had a good relationship with a nice guy and she cheated him even though he loved her so much and later he found out about this. she also slept with new guy. however the pld guy ( me) still wants her and love her as much as he used to. she knows that he loves her a lot. This is really killing me and i am really depressed. I want her back. I dont know how it gonna happen but i want this to happen. what should I do now?

number you are getting too annoying...everybody is giving you good advices and if you don't want to take the advices, what's wrong with you?? why you even want advice????

ss74k, I did not say i did not like the advice or I wont take advice. I will definitely. I have to move on and I am trying my best, believe me. Like many said, time is a greatest healer, so may be after few months or years I will be perfect. I hope sooner than later.

ofcourse ;)

number
Lets break down this whole thing into simple facts (according to you story).

1 she told you that she loves you, slept with you (and cheated on you)
2 She told another guy that she loved him, slept with him (and cheated on him as well)
3 You want her back (even if she cheated you and the other guy as well)

It appears that she loved no one, neither you or the other guy.....

One thing I learned in my experience of going through relationships over the years is the fact that 'saying and actually doing it are two very different things. You are truely loved by someone when she/she actually does whatever she/she says(or said) or at least puts a sincere effort to live up to what she/he says(or said).'

Know that you are NOT LOVED at all when the words he/she do not match with what he/she does. AND it absolutely dumb idea to want to be with someone who never really loved you (unless you have sinister plans in your mind).

thukka m@#ji number...
the best thing for u is to buy a nice strong rope and hang urself....... lachi m@3ji pani maruwa........

she cries over the phone with me. she says she can not decide what to do. according to her, if she come back to me people might think she hung out with this new guy for few months and again went back to same guy and if she goes to the new guy people will say she just used me and left me. she cries a lot these days. i can not see her tears and that melts me easily. whatever all of you have said, i agree with you but what i realized is it is definitely easy to say but difficult to do. alright guys, thank you all for your input and suggestions. though it is very hard for me to listen to you all at this point, i have no better option than to try to forget her. Its already been few months and it is going no where. I need to focus on my career now. no more love and lover, i guess time will tell me what wil happen next.

Good ..hahahah.. everybody did put lot of effort BUT i applaud on your decision:

THINK FOR YOURSELF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

that is the best thing you can do for you and others here in sajah..

On love:
like BC..i believe if you love someone set them free ..true love comes back ..may not be in the relationship in which you want but the love remains in one form or another.Love never turns to hate ...If you hate her ,you never loved her:)

THE BEST WAY IS REPLACEMENT. REMEMBER, THERE IS NO SUCH THING SO CALLED LOVE. WE FORGET OUR PARENTS AFTER A WHILE. THE WORLD IS BUSY AND WE HAVE LESS TIME FOR ALL THIS. I TOTALLY UNDERSTAND ALL THIS. I DONT KNOW WHAT TYPE OF PERSON U R BUT LEARN THIS LESSON, NOBODY SHOULD HAVE THE RIGHT TO HURT YOU.
DECEIVE BEFORE U R DECEIVED.
I ALSO USED TO SLEEP AROUND WITH ONE NEPALI GIRL AS A BEST FRIEND. AFTER 4-5 MONTHS I FOUND OUT THAT SHE HAD ACTUALLY ACTUALLY ONE GUY THAT SHE IS INFACTUATED BY HIM. I GOT THE EMAIL AFTER 3-4 MONTHS. SHE CLARIFIED THAT NOTHING WAS GOING ON THEN AND SHE HAD COMPLETELY FORGOTTEN ABT HIM AND SHE WAS IN LOVE WITH ME. BUT I WAS NOT HURT AT ALL, U KNOW WHY?
BCOZ, I WAS ALREADY SLEEPING AROUND WITH OTHER TWO GIRLS. I KNOW THAT SHE DOESNT KNOW ABOUT THIS.
BE A SMART PLAYER. I LOVE HER AND TODAY, SHE LOVES ME MORE THAN I DO; BUT I DIDT LET HER DECEIVE ME. SHE HAD JUST EMAILED BUT I HAD ACTUALLY SLEPT COUPLE OF TIMES WITH OTHERS.
NO TIME FOR LOVE IF IT IS TROUBLESOME.

Number,

Remember number..if you haven't forgotten her yet.. you are still doing harm in your life.. She is married now. forget her.. i know it's hard.. yet.. time heels everything.. go socialize.. life definately has something good for you.. and one day if you fight the pain.. you will be rewarded.. look she cheated on you.. i know she showed she loved you..yet she didn't sacrifice her sexual desire to hang on to the promise.. she is a cheater and a looser.. in fact she never loved you.. no matter how many times she might have told you.. man.. some girls.. they fake a lot...more than western girls..

so number.. move on with your life.. pick up your life that was into pieces..

Number, you're not the first guy who has gone through this. I don't think it's easy to get her back if she's already gone. You can definitely call her for lunch and remind her of those promises and moments that you guys spent together but that wouldn't make any difference. She might have had definitely made this decision in her sense. First of all, stay focused and do well in your classes, that's what you're here for. All you should be thinking at this time is your education and career, you'll then see how many girls you'll get once you set your path successfully in life.

Number,

I feel sorry for what happened to you, especially the part where this cheating thing affected your academic life and status thing. My best advice for now is to stop this mental tension right now. Take this new year as an excuse to start a new resolution. Freeze this thought and store it in your closet for now as an assignment which is due later and not need to worry about it now. Go out with your friends a lot, meet some beautiful nepalese girls out there, start working out. For now stop communicating with her, tell her you need time out from this mess. I am pretty sure later the  girl who cheated on you will come knockin at your door.

I

Number,

I feel sorry for what happened to you, especially the part where this cheating thing affected your academic life and status thing. My best advice for now is to stop this mental tension right now. Take this new year as an excuse to start a new resolution. Freeze this thought and store it in your closet for now as an assignment which is due later and not need to worry about it now. Go out with your friends a lot, meet some beautiful nepalese girls out there, start working out. For now stop communicating with her, tell her you need time out from this mess. I am pretty sure later the  girl who cheated on you will come knockin at your door.

 

yo coldfirestone !
what you up to, reviving more than a year old thread?


hahaha..quite an enlightening thread...haha... it's good to read different views from people.

all i can say is: love yourself first and the most (everything else is fleeting, sachhi! :P)

an atheist :P
LooTe

If you want something to go out from your mind and discover yourself, find a replacement. you will be happy and  yourself again.

"Time is the great healer"

I am saying from my own recent experience.

Good luck man.....

Where is this going???

More than a year down the line, it should have gone by now,
And I am in accord with Loote's advice here," Love yoursef first " and about replacements, think twice before u jump into

About replacements, I don't mean that you have to start a new relation. Replacements can be anything that will help you divert your mind thinking of all the craps happened to you in the past. Develop some new hobbies, keep yourself busy. You should keep your mind and body busy to avoid thinking about your past.

"Forgive all who have offended you, not for them, but for yourself."--Harriet Nelson

Here's one female's perspective on the topic:

First of all, the two of you are not married, she has the right to stop the relationship anytime she wants to as long as the two of you are not married. I do not support divorce so take your time, marry late, marry with some sense, do not get married if you are not 100% sure of your partner but for everybody's sake, do not get divorced.

You have the right to remain depressed.

Both of you have the right to remain friends if you two should choose to do so.

More important of all, ask your partner to make up her damn mind and accept whatever she choose.

Get on with your life dude, ain't worth flunking your semester. What were you thinking?

Number: There are no. of gals in this world don't make ur lif hell   for tht gal .. dude go get a life .. lif  has  more to do......... stop  crying  for a gal who left you for someone else.

Quest>>>  Tom Hanks ko naya movie  heryo ..hahhahahha

hahaha...people are still suggesting him after more than a year? LOL

who knows if number already patched up with the girl, got married and by now expecting a twin in a month or so hahahahaha.....

and people here are still giving him their suggestions hahahaha... talk of being cooperative and cordial. hahaha

i read the whole thread. this is what i like about sajha. it's good to see people's mind working over the same issue differently. not meaning to ridicule the seriousness of the issue discussed in the thread but some of the responses had me in splits.

thapap,
were you empowered by powergal? seems like you're still flying high like a superman LOL

rythm,
i need to take psychology lectures with you one of these days. it's great to see your mind working as a psychiatrist in all possible issues that sajha has to offer and your psychological rationale always keep me in thinking mode. hahaha. sometimes, i love being demented. hahahaha

 

It has been more than a year since number had this problem and people are still advicing him. For all we know he might be celebrating Xmas with his lady love right this instant. I was surprised to see this thread come back up and even more surprised to see my response. I totally forgot that I had even posted in this thread. LOL

Uncle L, believe me in real life I dont go around analyzing everything possible in a psych. perspective and give my opinion about it. Infact until I read your comment I wasnt even aware that I did that in sajha! lol. I guess there is more of a psychologist in me than I had allowed myself to believe. Its atleast good to know that I help your brain cells from dying a slow death! ;) BTW, I am still waiting for you to post the rest of your 'story.' It totally fascinates me! And Merry Xmas and  a Happy New Year BTW.