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sungava0
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Posted on 05-23-13 1:24
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Can you sajha guys share problems/solutions or just vent about the issues you are having with balancing girlfriend/wife and parents/family members? Has anyone been able to successfully make them get along? What kind of adjustments you made in life after having a girlfried?
I want to be assured I'm not the only one going through this :)
Lets get the discussion going.
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sumone
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Posted on 05-23-13 3:19
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SAP Dude
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Posted on 05-23-13 3:29
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Just pretend like your mother in law actually gave you a birth and your Father in Law is actually your own father. That is what i am seeing everyone do around me. Dont even remember to call your mother in mother's day but make sure you send a gift via Muncha to your mother in law. Also....welcome as much families and visiotrs from your wife's side to stay with you for indefinite period of time but never dare to ask your own parents to live with you and you wife.
Just keep those in mind and it will be really balanced.
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bittertruth
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Posted on 05-23-13 3:47
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Whats happening to you? Can you elaborate little more?
Is your girlfriend trying hard to prove you "जोइतिङ्ग्रे " or "जोरु का गुलाम "? Is she possesive? or Do you doubt that she is seeing other guy "मेह मेरी पत्नी ओर वो " Or is it something she has issues with your parents or your parents with her, remember "सास भी कभी बहु थि " the statement which itself doesn't follow up that well when it comes to the real life. And these words are not made up just like that, its there for a reason, and be glad you are not alone with what you are going through. If any of these conditions matches yours, remember you don't get chance to adjust things in life, life adjusts you.
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sungava0
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Posted on 05-23-13 4:04
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My question was more around balancing responsibility towards parents (from Nepal planning on moving to US) and girlfriend/wife (also Nepali) and if it is possible to have them coexist in US.
I'm sure this is a tough situation for all Nepali guys. We grow up with a mindset that we need to take care of our parents. However, down the road we realize it is not as easy with a partner involved. Just wanted to get some thoughts around it.
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MNM
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Posted on 05-23-13 4:43
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As our parents get older, I 'm sure most of us will be in the same boat as you.hopefully everything works out for you dude.
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giordano
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Posted on 05-23-13 6:30
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It ain't tough for me.....U can get another girl/wife but u can never get another parents. if ur gf doesn't respect or don't want to coexist with her in laws i wud dump her right there.....but fortunately all my gfs are willing to coexist.....it just that i am having hard time picking one...
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champak123
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Posted on 05-23-13 7:10
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All your gfs coexist rey....lol...
now we see ur real problem..multiple gfs....
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Cannabis
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Posted on 05-23-13 10:56
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One way to keep the balaincing family issues is to have a open communication.
You need to speak with your GF/wife in private that what your expectations are in any given context, and ask for her opionion. If you both are not on the same page on the given context, you genuninely need to make your case and request her to support your decision. Afterall, you both care about maintaining peace in family and live happily ever after; but in reality there is no such thing as happily everafter. We comprimise....come to a middle ground that you both agree
With your parents, exact same rule applies. If they say/do something to your wife that you don't agree, then you need to speak up ( You are, I am sure, an obidentt son, but you also need to be a best freind to your wife) We are raised in a society that Parents are equal to Gods, in fact they are not. We all are humans and each of us deserved to be treated as one.
Your parents need to realize that the happiness your wife/GF brings in your life is something they cannot replace. Your wife need to respect the fact that : the reason she is in so much love with you is beacue your parents did a good job of raising you. We are the product of how we are raised, and spouse need to understand and appreciate that fact.
Good luck !!!
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