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lifeinspires
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Posted on 12-20-06 2:51
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as i was reading through the post on "questions to ask before marrying " ..once again i got to thinking "why marry?" (apart from the legals aspect of marriage) . here of course i'm talking about people in love. i mean you can live together and be there for each other...... i know some might say .. marriage makes u a part of the guy/girls family n all....but i for one PREFER NOT TO GET MARRIED. u can marry n try be a part of your spouse's family....but u'll always be an outsider ...always under the microscope. in ways your "in laws" think your primary duty is to make their precious one happy. you have to be the ideal buhari/ juyai ....when it comes to marriages ...parents tend to have great expectaitons. their own darling child will be far from perfect but yet they think he/she deserves that perfect man/woman....u know the kind where they can "samaj ko agadi chhati fulayera , mero chhora/chhori ko ta falana sanga bihe bho, yesto chha , yesto garchha bhanna milos" n what not....they might like n even love u after a while but you're never good enough. our families love us inspite of all our shortcomings but they're not as willing to accept shortcomings in the person we marry. "their little angel could have done better than you". well ....got sidetracked there ....but ....share ideas on why we should or should not marry, do u want to marry,will you marry or anyting else that's even remotely close to this topic...
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PowerGal
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Posted on 12-20-06 9:31
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Emmmmmmmmm..I would say you gotta marry to feel secure about your relationship.. But for Nepali people we have to get married in time for our parent's sake.. They will be worried if we are not married..
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real_me
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Posted on 12-20-06 9:35
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It is just social licensce to have sex with one partner. Actually everybody wants more and start cheating. Exchange of compromises between man and woman. All bullshit and dhoka. There's beautiful relationship even without marriage.No cheap commitment, no bargain, no limitation to have partners, no fake promises and no more lies. Isn't that wonderful?
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Rahuldai
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Posted on 12-20-06 9:40
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हिन्दी मा एउटा कहाँवत छ, शादी वो लड्ड है जो खावे वह पछुताए जो न खावे वह भि पछुताए
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oldmaven
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Posted on 12-20-06 10:04
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LifeInspires... Your post ( the 1st one ) doesnt seem to clarify if a husband and a wife starts a neutral family away from their parents. I personally feel "parents" are never a problem. They are just "another" society whom you deal with care. of course, extreme care. So, you'd love to "live-in" preferably rather than getting into papers/marrying actually. Thats readily acceptable , but doesnt that .. a little slightly .. signify you're not still ready for commitment. OK, if you say .. NOT .. i am devoted to him, i just dont want to MARRY. its perfect again. As long as you say : you dont turn away at bad times of each other , and remain together only sharing good times .. you're perfectly OKAY for a live-in. BUT then again, if you wanted to have a child ! If the child wants your hubby to be called his father , and you his mother. Or , lets say .. he turns out to be one of an urban guy who says : my parents are not married ! :P .. All depends upon perceptions. And i am just jotting some of my little weirdos. If you ask me about this .. i would say I would definitely marry .. but then .. truly i want to spend some time together as a live-in with my partner. NOT that i wouldnt trust her , but just because i found her a bit early ??? lol . is that a valid reason? hmm .. i would marry my girl but then .. with her staying with me and sharing my ups n downs " literally" ;) .. would be considered a marriage to me already. i dont believe in divorces as of now. One cant simply let go the other. If its so, i would say.. they were never happy. they never married! "literally" again !!!
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wowal
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Posted on 12-20-06 10:35
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I don't know exactly how you guys feel about it, my views about it are clear on one thing. It doesn't matter someone is married or living with gf/bf, once it comes to cheating to their gf/bf or husband/wife everyone looks same. Honesty, commitment, and reality/emotion are the main factor behind any successful relationship. Yes, everyone has problem in their life. If someone thinks the gf/bf will say, "Ok I'm out of this relationship, I’m tired of you." just because they are not married. Then, sorry friends I can't agree with that. There lots of married people who got divorce in their late 60s as well. And there are lots of people who are living their life till their last breath with out getting married too. The key point here is that every relationship has problems; people who are not willing to deal with it and don't try to solve it won’t be able to be stay long time with their partners or husband/wife. And once it comes to cheating why most of the time men are blamed? LOL. Guys try to be honest here; how many time you have heard people saying they slept with some married girl or someone’s gf. What does that mean? Does it mean the guy who slept with or enjoyed the moment with her is blamed, or the girl is also equally responsible for that? So, please try not to blame any gender for not having good relationship. Finally, the all I would like to say is, there is not any relationship without problems. If someone says he/she never had any problems in their relationship (any kind) and they are happy, I can bet either they are liar or they don’t have good relationship. The thing is we born with problems, and we gotta face it. Couples who are willing to face their problem and can deal with it properly are the happiest couple ever. Please, no offense to anyone with different views. Feel free to comment. That’s why we have sajha here, correct? Wish you all a Happy Holiday, I wish for your prosperity. peace
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ImI
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Posted on 12-20-06 11:28
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Very Simple and yet very deep meaning .. "A marriage completes the person" not filmy dialogue ..i can give you my perspective in cultural, religious aspect not just love. If anyone interested , just ask :)..otherwise as usually i love leaving quotes (wise ass:P hehe)
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live_wire
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Posted on 12-21-06 11:13
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people get married to get settled and raise a family. it can be understood as a social ritual that can be seen in various forms across cultures. typically, a man and a woman start a domestic space that can be called "home." A "house" in turn is a place where we accumulate "stuff." a stable house hold with families are early sign of civilization and origins of power/class/status in human society. why marry? is vast question. if taken lightly, it will generate subjective answers. why marry? to be with the one that i love. why marry? to get away from the one that i used to love. why marry? for family why marry? for sex why marry? for social obligation why marry? for santan why marry? orelse i cannot get my purkha ko paisa why mary? all of the above
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sajhauser
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Posted on 12-21-06 1:25
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for society, insurance, benefits.... else two people could stay together without getting married...like brad pitt and jolie
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