http://dr-joe.com/lyrics/cat.htm

http://www.amsterdam.info/coffeeshops (Coffee Shop Guide: 'In Amsterdam, coffeeshop means a place where cannabis is openly sold and smoked. Though soft drugs have not been legalized in the Netherlands, it is tolerated when used discretely . . .')

http://www.frommers.com/destinations/amsterdam/0043024448.html (Amsterdam's Red Light District: 'Even if you don't want to play, this is a place you may want to see at night, when the red lights reflect from the inky surface of the canals. Lots of visitors come here out of curiosity or just for fun. There's no problem with wandering around, and you don't need to worry much about crime as long as you stick to the busier
streets . . .')

http://www.revelation13.net/KingJames8d.html (Revelation 13: The English King James version Bible code - Part 8d - Hurricane Katrina hit Florida, Louisiana, Alabama, and Mississippi in August 2005 . . .')

http://www.theinsider.org/reports/new-world-order ('some time between 2010 and 2020 the world's supply of oil and gas will fall below the level required to meet international demand. The US government is aware that we are about to endure a disastrous international energy shortage. According to Dr James McKenzie, a senior member of the climate change programme at the World Resources Institute in Washington, USA: "That's why we went to war in Iraq . . .')

http://www.mabus.biz (Nostradamus Mabus Project: In search of the Anti-Christ 'Mabus could be the anti-christ or the forerunner to the true antichrist. He or she is prophesied by Nostradamus in Century II, Quatrain 62 . . .')

What's the Best Way to Disarm a Fundamentalist?

"During my travels I've tried many times, only to fail again and again; it's an impossible task.

People with fixed belief systems have them in place because they haven't developed a psychic structure of their own so will cling to the system they've bought into unthinkingly at all costs, even to the point of destroying themselves and others in suicide bomb missions.

The best you can do is wish them peace and enlightenment in this life or next and wend your merry way. In any case, it is not your job to prosyletise - only to shine the light - eventually that dispels all the darkness but it with people stuck in any particular way of seeing things, this will be a subtle process (like watching paint dry) and one not
worth hanging around for, to watch happening."

WOW what a lesson....hehe :D

Dancing Tip Links:

http://www.lastplace.com/Journal/beyond_disco_dancing.htm (Disco: 'Think of the dance floor as a stage, think of audience and performance/ Vary the dance sequences within one song, like a boxer, use combinations of moves/ jester with head - for example, stick out lower chin to project defiance, machismo/ Sometimes lip sync the words to let audience know you are totally into the song, and know the words, and using the body to express these lyrical feelings . ..')

http://www.pinkpt.com/dance/index.php?page=hiphopdancetips (Hip hop dance tips: 'Stay low: Hip hop dance is all about bending your knees slightly and keeping low to the ground. Anything high looks funny . . .')

http://mockery.org/ColtnessChessClub/LapDancingTips.htm (Lap-dancing tips: If you are performing your first lap dance or feeling in anyway shy or unattractive keep the lighting very dim. This will help to provide a cover up for you until your confidence grows.

Shake whooot ? Shake what yo mama gave you... he he



Forty-Something Women's 20-Something Fantasies

A new survey of 2.000 British women over 40 has revealed that most enjoy sex far more than in their 20, with just 1 in 3 admitting to faking orgasm, compared to 56% 'when they were younger''.

"Forty plus women know how to enjoy passion and are far more sexually confident," Health Plus editor Colette Harris said, commenting on the findings," They've far better sex lives than binge-drinking, bed-hopping twenty-somethings". (The Sun)

Despite the survey's findings, scientists from Leeds University published the results of another study of fifty plus Brits this week, which revealed that 20-somethings currently binge-drinking and bed-hopping could be stacking up the definitive memories of their lives.

Study professor Chris Moulin told the Guardian that his study shows that most people accumulate their most cherished lifetime memories in their 20s, in a phenomenon he's named the 'Reminiscence bump'.

"The reminiscence bump could be just that its when the most exciting things happen in your life," the Professor suggested, "What we'd like to do is argue that it's to do with the formation of self."

In more Brit sex news, a new study of 5,000 men by Esquire magazine has revealed that Brit blokes top the European infidelity league. According to the men's magazine over two thirds of coupled up men admit to cheating on their partners, with others considering one night stands not constituting unfaithfulness.

http://ask.metafilter.com/mefi/23074#368584 (Oral sex tips not good for work)

http://thewvsr.com/lysol.htm (Feminine cleanliness not good for work)



George Bush's Booze Blues

Concerns over George W's stability grew this week after tabloid reports suggested the reformed alcoholic has started drinking again, in response to Hurricane Katrina and the ongoing crisis in Iraq.

According to the National Enquirer, the US President has been secretly boozing for weeks in Washington, and was caught red-handed two weeks ago by his wife Laura when he was at the ranch in Crawford Texas.

"When the levees broke in New Orleans, it apparently made him reach for a shot," an 'insider' told the Enquirer, "He poured himself a Texas-sized shot of straight whiskey and tossed it back. The First Lady was shocked and shouted: 'Stop
George!'."

In more George W news, an animal welfare organisation in Romania revealed they've started using pictures of George W on posters throughout the Eastern European country to help persuade people to adopt stray dogs.

Ioana Casetti from the Romania National Committee for the Protection of Animals said they selected George W as well as Adolf Hilter to emphasise their slogan 'A dog loves you just the way you are.'

"Our idea is to make people sensitive to what an animal can offer in terms of affection," Ms Casetti explained, "By showing them that even the most hated dictators on this planet received love from their dogs."
(Ananova)


George W Caner Links:

http://cocaine.org/george-bush ('George spent most of his time carousing at the Delta Kappa Epsilon (DKE) fraternity house or "the drinking jock house", as it was known. Some classmates remember him as a "hard-drinking good-time guy" and "a jock sniffer" who "loved to raise hell". Ken White, a DKE contemporary, told me: "My wife remembers him roaring drunk one night at a DKE party without a date doing the Alligator; that was some sort of dance back then when you fell to the floor on all fours and started rolling around . . .', Kitty Kelly)

http://www.exile.ru/2002-October-02/editorial.html (Bush-Hitler Comparison Unjust: 'Hitler was a captivating speaker, inspiring throngs of Germans to lift their right arms at a 45-degree angle; Bush has difficulty remembering each and every tiny little syllable, causing American intellectuals to curl the right sides of their mouths into what is known as a "sneer." . . .')

http://www.whitehouse.org/kids/jail.asp (The Bush Arrest Guide: 'Boys and Girls! Scared of what might happen if you get in trouble with the police? Well don't be! Because ignoring boring laws written to control poor people is not only a harmless rite of passage, it's a sacred Bush family tradition . . .')

Fugsir,,,dissertation lekhda lekhda tauko dhukisakyo,,,,dont make me read more kya,,,,come up with something funny,,,need some laugh...:D

A new survey of 2.000 British women over 40 has revealed that most enjoy sex far more than in their 20, with just 1 in 3 admitting to faking orgasm, compared to 56% 'when they were younger''.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Just 56% re? LOL....

"Most of them are gay men and they stop my tractor getting through to
plough." (Mirror)An unnamed farmer explains why farmers in Cornwall have started
erecting 'No Dogging' signs throughout the county in response an explosion in
people seeking alfresco sex

."It was a bizarre accident, and he was in a lot of pain. We have done what we can for him but he may never regain use of the organ again, at least for sexual purposes." (Ananova)Romanian Doctor Nicolae Bacalbasa comments on the tragic case of newly married local farmer Gheorghe Popa, 52, who fractured his penis by dropping a heavy bag of grain on it, as he was apparently admiring his 25 year old bride hanging up the laundry.

A Greek And An Italian

A Greek and an Italian were sitting down one day debating who had the
superior culture.

The Greek says, "We have the Parthenon"
The Italian says, "We have the Coliseum"
The Greek says, "We had great Mathematicians"
The Italian says, "We had the Roman Empire"

and so on and so on......
and then the Greek says: "We invented sex"

The Italian says:

"True, but it was the Italians who introduced it to women"







ARE YOU A GOOD JUDGE OF CHARACTER? TRY THIS OUT. BY LOOKING AT A PICTURE OF A PERSON, YOU HAVE TO DECIDE IF HE IS A PROGRAM LANGUAGE INVENTOR OR A SERIAL KILLER. GO WITH YOUR GUT FEELING. ,,, click on the link...

http://www.malevole.com/mv/misc/killerquiz




you'll love this.
this is insane!! http://media.animal.discovery.com/fansites/petstar/videogallery/season3/ep309_winner.html

hehe thanku, nice to know you know what i lop..:d


http://www.statusquo.com/

he he

Results of the quiz:

http://www.malevole.com/mv/misc/killerquiz

target=_blank>http://www.starterupsteve.com/swf/rake_bush4.html>

The government today announced that it is changing its emblem from an Eagle to a CONDOM because it more accurately reflects the government's political stance.
A condom allows for inflation, halts production, destroys the next generation, protects a bunch of pricks, and gives you a sense of security while you're actually being screwed.

Fugsir I wouldnt be surrpised ,if it happened to be your creation. :D Anyways, wonderfool....:D

http://n.ethz.ch/student/mkos/pinguin.swf
Are you talking about the finger ? he he

Adult Fairy Tales
CINDERELLA wants to go to the ball, but her wicked stepmother won't
let her.
As Cinderella sits crying in the garden, her fairy godmother
appears, and
promised to provide Cinderella with everything she needs to go to
the ball, but only on two conditions. "First, you must wear a
diaphragm."
Cinderella agrees. "What's the second condition?"
"You must be home by 2:00 a.m. Any later, and your diaphragm will
turn into a pumpkin."
Cinderella agrees to be home by 2:00 a.m. The appointed hour comes
and goes, and Cinderella doesn't show up. Finally, at 5:00 a.m.
Cinderella shows up, looking love struck and very satisfied.
"Where have you been?" demands the Fairy Godmother. "Your
diaphragm was supposed to turn into a pumpkin three hours ago!"
" I met a prince, Fairy Godmother. He took care of everything."
The Fairy Godmother stated, "I know of no prince with that kind of
power!
Tell me his name!"
Cinderella replied, I can't remember, exactly. Peter, Peter,
something or other..."
___________________________________________
PINOCCHIO had a human girlfriend who would sometimes complain about
splinters when they were having sex. Pinocchio, therefore, went to
visit Gepetto to see if he could help.
Gepetto suggested he try a little sandpaper wherever indicated and
Pinocchio skipped away enlightened.
A couple weeks later, Gepetto saw Pinocchio bouncing happily through
town and asked him, "How's the girlfriend?"
Pinocchio replied, "Who needs a girlfriend?"
_____________________________________________
LITTLE RED RIDING HOOD was walking through the woods when suddenly
the Big Bad Wolf jumped out from behind a tree and, holding a sword to her
throat, said, "Red, I'm going to screw your brains out!"
To that, Little Red Riding Hood calmly reached into her picnic
basket and pulled out a .44 magnum and pointed it at him and said, "No, you're
not.
You're going to eat me, just like it says in the book."
____________________________________________
MICKEY MOUSE and MINNIE MOUSE were in divorce court and the judge
said to Mickey,"You say here that your wife is crazy."
Mickey replied, "I didn't say she was crazy, I said she's f**king
Goofy."
___________________________________________
SNOW WHITE saw Pinocchio walking through the woods so she ran up
behind him, knocked him flat on his back, and then sat on his face crying,
"Lie to me! Lie to me!"
___________________________________________
Did you know...Captain Hook died from jock itch.
____________________________________________
One day, JANE met TARZAN in the jungle. She was very attracted to
him and during her questions about his life she asked him how he engaged
to have sex.
"What's that?" he asked.
She explained to him what sex was and he said,
"Oh, I use a hole in the trunk of a tree."
Horrified, she said, " Tarzan, you have it all wrong but I will show
you how to do it properly." She took off her clothes, lay down on the
ground and spread her legs. "Here," she said, "you must put it in here."
Tarzan removed his loincloth, stepped closer and then gave her an
almighty kick in the crotch. Jane rolled around in agony. Eventually she
managed to gasp,
"What the hell did you do that for?"
"Just checking for bees," said Tarzan

Are you talking about the finger ? he he

Hazur yes....:D hmmm trojan got in my comp hare pravuuu i hate Wednesdays..

Know Yourself..
Read carefully.
Imagine if you walked into a small hut by the river in the jungle.
You pushed open the door, in front of you were 5 small beds to the right of the u, and another 5 small chairs surrounding a small round table.
In the middle of the table was a round food tray with 5 kinds of fruit in it.
There are:
a. apple
b. banana
c. strawberry
d. peach
e. orange
Which fruit will u choose?
Your choice reveals a lot about u!


test results : Please SCROLL DOWN
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a. if you chosen apple:
that means you are a person who loves to eat apple
b. if you chosen banana:
that means you are a person who loves to eat banana
c. if you chosen strawberry:
that means you are a person who loves to eat strawberry
d. if you chosen peach:
that means you are a person who loves to eat peach
e. if you chosen orange:
that means you are aperson who loves to eat orange

** I bet u r hunting for me...
Well...I am still hunting for the person who sent me this...! :D :d

Seems I am a person who loves straberry... It's great to know myself.

SOMETHING TO OFFEND EVERYONE
What is a Yankee?

The same as a quickie, but a guy can do it alone.

What is the difference between a Harley and a Vacuum Cleaner?

The vacuum has the dirt bag on the inside.

Why is divorce so expensive?

Because it's worth it.

What do you get when you put 50 lesbians and 50 politicians in a room together?

100 people who don't do dick.

What do you call a smart blonde?

A golden retriever.

What do attorneys use for birth control?

Their personalities.

What's the difference between a girlfriend and wife?

45 lbs.

What's the difference between a boyfriend and husband?

45 minutes.

What's the fastest way to a man's heart?

Through his chest with a sharp knife.

Why do men want to marry virgins?

They can't stand criticism.

Why is it so hard for women to find men that are sensitive, caring, and good-looking?

Because those men already have boyfriends.

What's the difference between a new husband and a new dog?

After a year, the dog is still excited to see you.

What makes men chase women they have no intention of marrying?

The same urge that makes dogs chase cars they have no intention of driving.

A brunette, a blonde, and a redhead are all in third grade.

Who has the biggest boobs?

The blonde, because she's 18.

What's the difference between a porcupine and BMW?

A porcupine has the pricks on the outside.

What did the blonde say when she found out she was pregnant?

"Are you sure it's mine?"

What's the difference between Beer Nuts and Deer Nuts?

Beer Nuts are $1, and Deer Nuts are always under a buck.

Why does Mike Tyson cry during sex?

Mace will do that to you

Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact?

Breasts don't have eyes.

Did you hear about the dyslexic Rabbi?

He walks around saying "Yo."

Why do drivers' education classes in Redneck schools use the car only

on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays?

Because on Tuesday and Thursday, the Sex Ed class uses it.

What's the Cuban National Anthem?

"Row, Row, Row Your Boat"

Where does an Irish family go on vacation?

A different bar

What would you call it when an Italian has one arm shorter than the other?

A speech impediment.

What does it mean when the flag at the Post Office is flying at half-mast?

They're hiring.

What's the difference between a southern zoo and a northern zoo?

A southern zoo has a description of the animal on the front of the cage along with... "a recipe."

How do you get a sweet little 80-year-old lady to say the F... word?

Get another sweet little 80-year-old lady to yell *BINGO*!

What's the difference between a northern fairy tale and a southern fairy tale?

A Northern fairy tale begins "Once upon a time..."

A southern fairy tale begins "Y'all ain't gonna believe this shit..."

Why is there no Disneyland in China?

No one's tall enough to go on the good rides

"Sir, What is the secret of your success?"

"Two words"

"And, Sir, what are they?"

"Right decisions."

"And how do you make right decisions?"

"One word."

"And, What is that?"

"Experience."

"And how do you get Experience?"

"Two words"

"And, Sir, what are they?"

"Wrong decisions."

Good one Matrix.