the volcanic lava erupted from the veins of my neck as the wheels of the train slahes through them ...chunks of my pink skirt wrapped like a tortilla around the vile railtracks ...blood gudhed out from my eyeballs, the brains scattered mushily with the dark and dusty soil of the ground my pretty limbs chopped off in pieces and scattered all about the the railway...the ironrod attaching the wheels together took the finngers of my left hand and along with that the only jewel that i had ever adornedmy granny's love a 2 carat diamond ring casted in a beautifel serpant emeralds..

those feet that had never touched the grounds and comforted in the 120 pairs of my shoes collection now scattered for the vultures to dig on..my eyes whose stories were written from rolpa to russia now lay as a poached egg under the sun, the preety lips vapurized in the dust the breasts.full rounded and supple chhuuged away along the train tracks and with them my ribs that crushed through the lungs..

dead i was in 3 seconds but then the anguish of my lost heart remained..remains...where did my heart go???

contd..

So i had finnally managed to paint the town red..bloody red that is..gallons of my O-ve blood flowed out through every punctunctured holes in my skin..like i was the fountain of love everybody gathered around to see how high the blood gushed out...

i had denied the smothering love of my countrymen, my parents and my neighbours, wasn't enuf to quench my thirst for questionings..why there are rules regulations, laws and then some and mosstly broken ones in the ONE society i lived in..why most people were blind..why cudn't they hear my screams when i had called them, why did they stop talking when i harmed people the same way they taught me how to..why was i allowed to party to celebrate the death of my frens, why i was to be diffrent from my siblings and why nobody was good enuf to be my suitor..

form the laundry girl, to housekeeping..to janitor to clerk and now failry position clerk i did thinks way beyond what my servants had done for me in my villa..but still it cud not answer ques.. instead of bringing for love my hardwork perished as my frens and family became vainer than before..3 million boys runnning after me to take a look at my smile and i lay hiiden behind my fears that they shall find out who i actually am...

had i just asked my papa he wud have brought the world under my feet but love from him was more answers.. to find answer i had to question.when questioned there were experiences experiences led to errrors and errors turned into sins..that even the hell closed door fo rme..

your punsihment in life is to live...so live the heavens growled..

contd..

So i had finnally managed to paint the town red..bloody red that is..gallons of my O-ve blood flowed out through every punctunctured holes in my skin..like i was the fountain of love everybody gathered around to see how high the blood gushed out...

i had denied the smothering love of my countrymen, my parents and my neighbours, wasn't enuf to quench my thirst for questionings..why there are rules regulations, laws and then some and mosstly broken ones in the ONE society i lived in..why most people were blind..why cudn't they hear my screams when i had called them, why did they stop talking when i harmed people the same way they taught me how to..why was i allowed to party to celebrate the death of my frens, why i was to be diffrent from my siblings and why nobody was good enuf to be my suitor..

form the laundry girl, to housekeeping..to janitor to clerk and now failry position clerk i did thinks way beyond what my servants had done for me in my villa..but still it cud not answer ques.. instead of bringing for love my hardwork perished as my frens and family became vainer than before..3 million boys runnning after me to take a look at my smile and i lay hiiden behind my fears that they shall find out who i actually am...

had i just asked my papa he wud have brought the world under my feet but love from him was more answers.. to find answer i had to question.when questioned there were experiences experiences led to errrors and errors turned into sins..that even the hell closed door fo rme..

your punsihment in life is to live...so live the heavens growled..

oops i write some more later..

godd i'm sleepy gnite..sorry for spell errors

Hey Hush,
I have been reading ur postings since couple of weeks... found it weird but interesting...the piece tht u've written above....i dunno how to comment on tht... .. such a detail oriented...khai k bhanne...found it amazing!!! the train crushin over the body scene is not that pretty but i really appreciate the way u put ur words.....
finally, i really like the way u write!! Peace out!!

Think I am falling in love with hush's ideology...I am simply loving it...love to see more...more and much more....

I cannot relate myself to her postings...they are good... the flow or words is impeccable...but they are full of misery...and are gory too.

Hushbaby, if something is bothering you...share with us....I mean it....I had been in depression once in my life...it seems like ages now... I had even thought over committing suicide. I am not a counsellor....but can talk you out of depression from some extent.

"to" some extent that was....

SHARING at Sajha..I don't know if that takes away ur depressions..to some extents yes!!!...but look hush is sharing some too hoina ra...I simply love her writings..thats it..feels like my own..seriously re kya..;o)

Yo hushpuppy pani gazab chha ba...he he he ...kahile car accident, kahile train accident...aba aeroplane, bike, ship accident ko story auune ho ki kya ho?? kasto crazy bafre accident ko...he he he ...tara lekhnai chai lekhne ho...May be hushpuppy should join CBI as a reporter dealing with accident cases .....what a report will huspuppy then present makes me wonder!!!

Contd...

sweet cinnamon scent breeze led me to a stiil stream drumming against the moss draped rocks. There lay a pair of aubergrine frogs, tadpole like fishes..the peach trees had bloomed heartily inthe spring and birds with more colors than sparrrows getting fonder under the sun..

i slung off my drapery and plunged into the water ..so pure that i cud almost taste the marriage betweent the minerals...followed the trail of tghe sunlight playing hide and seek onto the waves of the water...the sun water earth air and the animals bringing forth the heaven on earth...I only i'debeen a mermaid my life wud have been perfect...

reggae playing in the back ground..i didn't realise that i had swam too far from our picnic grounds..amidst the dancing, drinking and barbeques, not one of my friends whom i had thrown the party for realised that i had gottton lost somewhere with the fishes..

then there we were picking up the trash after the picnic was over..him and i ..it was kind of automatic that we did the things we did..most frens have scurried home to go back to their lives, books, spuses and chores and we were still cleaning the place making sure donella was good enuf to stand on her toes ...and jack brown stopped pukin....not a word between us though..we were always trying think that whatver we were thinking and it did not work...then we realized all that was left after the campers hit their tents was us...didn't want to stay cudn't move my legs..so we sat down smoke gushing out our lungs squeezing every can of beer we can and staring up in the sky...not a word spoken....wud it ever be worth it..wud it..if..then..since..the peach adn pink skies turned blue, then navy and dark whiskey and then one by one stars popped out....we lay there...our fingers barely touching...not a word spoken ..not a breath heard.................

and then we heard the skies growling...it growled that the love of your life is so close that you can never near him

Somebody must have swallowed the whole god damn oxford advanced learner's dictionary and now spewing out in shatters!

Swallowed? Let's ask hushpuppy that question. Hey hushpuppy did you spit or swallow?

i presume i contemporarily digested the grains of the substances that i needed to spit out more often than not, just to filter my thought process and procure some time to get my toddling feets off the ground and get back to this puny haunting life and state and live who i really am ...just waiting for some good leverage in order to charter my plans and actuailize in one strong strike of a trident thats actually shredding my self from all directions...i express what i'd like to so you may add in your spices to get me going..I thank gratefully to all connoosoir of literature thats ever out there...

first swallow n spit ;) he he ..dami cha ...jaos ajhai....need a psychotherapist for myself for some other reason but this one adds one more reason for me to go to him.

papa kehte hain bada naamkarega beta hamara aisey kaam magar ye to ..haha..

wait till i get the bottom of the story

LMAO :)

Yup, she's definitely spittin' mad vocabs.

You go girl! :)