Having arrived in United States after 9/11 created a series of fateful events?.starting from a frisk and almost being stripped at San Francisco international airport and ending at the cold stares from the hillbillies in Illinois. Life wasn?t all same for every Asian in United States. Getting into a graduate program at a modest school in Illinois was not difficult?.what was difficult was?to befriend local people, who, at the every moment reminded me, I was an alien. It was not discrimination?.at least I would not say that?.possibly ignorance?having always heard little about Asians?they all summed up me being a kin to Bin Laden. Even the officer who issued me a driver?s license double checked my status.

But gradually the ice began to melt, both on the window panes and in the hearts of the people. By the end of spring, I had made a few good friends. One of them was Tara, who looked like Kelly Clarkson gone wrong, a big loud country girl who smoked joint more than Bob Marley and Snoop Dogg combined. I sometimes took deep drags with her?.almost forgetting my mom saying ?babu?yeta uta nagaresh ni?. Now that I had certainly done ?yeta uta?, I used to come home with a long face, sat myself down and studied for hours as if it would make up for what I had done earlier.

Tara was fun, so was Nick and Jessica and Sarah?.we played country songs at full blast in Tara?s yard?sat on a tailgate of an unknown truck sipping Miller Lite and singing ?American pie? at the top of our lungs. We thought Charlie Daniels was great, Tim McGraw was greater and Don Mclean the greatest?. all my U2 and Sting days were over. I was yet another hillbilly in Midwest, Although half the time I wondered ?What am I doing in Charleston, Illinois??

I was always on top of the studies?.the effortless program of technology management were not as intricate as arduous differential equations of chemical engineering. Thanks to my gruesome days in the engineering school in Orissa, I was at least regarded as a first class student in America. My professors admired me, but grimaced seeing me coming out of a local nightclub uttering invectives.

Life went on?.John_Galt the redneck wannabee was enjoying every moment until all of a sudden I hear a voice ?John?you are married right??

Ahem?. Now what does that mean?

I never slept with anyone?.lord Krishna knows it all?.oops!!?wrong god?.should have said Brahma, or Jesus?or just any goddamn god. But yes?.I never slept with any other female?.never?.no way. I always know where to draw a line. Believe me or faint?I am tired of repeating this over and over. And who would ever I sleep with?

Tara???

I would not touch her with a ten foot pole, Sarah was far too pretty to be touched by a guy like me and Jessica?although pretty?slept with jesus in her dreams rather than me in her arms. And then Nick was always there to outsmart me with it came to cooing girls?but why am I even saying this?I did not sleep?and I am never going to?period!!!

But all of a sudden my married life seemed to trouble me, not that I regretted I was married but I had to find a way to outwit those vultures in lazimpat to get my wife here. I was a grad assistant and had a 4.0 alright, but then there were stories of high profile people being denied a visa which intimidated me more than baby ghost shamara.

Stragtegies were planned, documents were created - scrutinized by the best so called immigration pundits? and thank lord Krishna (again???)?.. my wife arrived in a cold October morning at St. Louis, Missouri. I was so happy I could have strip teased in a gay bar. There was a grand party?. of course?..shamelessly inundated with beer and vodka and some other drinks which I paid for?but never saw. And for the first time in my life?in acute inebriation, I made a resolution that I was giving up drinking forever. Well?my resolutions never last?and this one was no different?but at least I cut down on drinking?and went cold turkey on smoking.

I have been in complete abstinence of tobacco products ever since?.and people find it hard to believe that I was actually a quality engineer in Philip Morris Asia Ltd for a couple of years.

Digressions aside, I graduated with excellent grades, but my graduation was not as eventful as Sitara or others, future was precarious because uncle Sam was never so broke. But then I made a weird decision, in fact two weird decisions. First, I made my wife pregnant, and second, I made up my mind to move to Alabama for another masters?this time in chemical engineering. Yeah right! A Midwest hillbilly moving south?.rednecks could not ask for more. All I needed was a confederate bandana.

I am in Alabama now, speaking southern draw and dancing in the tunes of ?Sweet home Alabama?, I can now see why Miss Witherspoon liked this place so much. I might settle down here if given a job.

After all, south ain?t that bad.

lot of typos...sorry..I copied and pasted from my biographical snippets...should have typed here...again

Great reading..keep on coming. As they say in the hillbilly country, Keep on the sunny side always on the sunny side. Aye?

Hey John, great reading you! Love your tongue- in- cheek narration. So, it took a kick on your batoosh to get you to remember to bring you wife to US? :P Well, I am glad you are here together. Happy New Year to you and yours!

John, Liked your style. Excellento....

Look me up in Alabama Sawwwwwwwwun.......the weirdo southern tongue kya .

Keep it coming :-)

Alright now,

thank ya'll folks for replyin' back, I was not purty sure if it caught anyone's attention. Sitara, please send me some of your other creations, my mom wants to read it...she is not comfortable browsing net.

Jira, your sequel to Devon street was hillarious, it is always good reading you. Next time bring your kaka-kaki too.

See ya'll soon.

Mora John Galt, sajha ma lekhera budi lai padayera trying to tell her that you did not have any 'wild action' & get the browny points. Kaamta ko chalkh raicha babababba, Bible japera kasto buddi ako. Hehe. ( Jiskya ni feri Bible lai kehi naramro bhanya hoina)


Hillbilly ho ki Billy matra ho tha bhena. Tara budi lai yesoo danga banaune chala chai gajab cha la. Satanga dandabat.

In jest,
IndisGuise:)

P.S: Enjoyed reading it. (Hope your wife gives you some brownies)

indisguise,

c'mon now...don't start it.

Interesting read, so u turned from a hillybilly to a southerner eh? I am a PROUD hillybilly. No I don't like the songs of Faith Hill or her husband!

Meera,

How come a hill billy does not enjoy country songs?

I never slept with anyone?.lord Krishna knows it all?.oops!!?wrong god?.should have said Brahma, or Jesus?or just any goddamn god. But yes?.I never slept with any other female?.never?.no way. I always know where to draw a line. Believe me or faint?I am tired of repeating this over and over. And who would ever I sleep with?......... ..........>>>>
whenever my dad mom talks abt my marries:P and mention he is studying or doing job in foreign country first thing that strike on my mind is....jesus he might have slept with so many gals:P i ain't gonna marry that guy especially when it comes to arranged marries;)
he have to prove meh like john did hehe...seriously i can't help abt that concept:(


ahh!refreshing :)
keep it coming.
and ya lucky lucky she ....offcourse hajur ko wife:)

thanks ruina.....tell it to indisguise.

LOL
its like u swearing lord krishna;)
anyway hehe spare meh :)
and keep on writin !....:)

Nice one John ji..Enjoyed Reading it...Post More

whenever my dad mom talks abt my marries:P and mention he is studying or doing job in foreign country first thing that strike on my mind is....jesus he might have slept with so many gals:P i ain't gonna marry that guy especially when it comes to arranged marries;)
he have to prove meh like john did hehe...seriously i can't help abt that concept:(
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
Ruina jee, someone might me offended with that comment. Well what if we did put it the other way round.........................Exactly in your words hai.
"whenever my dad mom talks bout my marries:P and mention SHE is studying or doing job in foreign country first thing strike on my mind is..... god SHE might have slept with so many guys:P i ain't gonna marry that girl especially when it comes to arranged marries ;0)"

Well ruIna jee for your kind information, every one does not sleep with toooooooo many gals or vice versa. It reflects the fact that u don't believe in urself. Have u heard a saying. If u can't believe urself, u can never believe others.
And one more thing, I feel like u resemble a lot of nepalese girls, living in Nepal.

I really feel sorry for their thoughts.

harkeDai

harke and ruina,

keep me out of this guys. Harke...do not be too harsh on ruina..she is a sweet kid trying to speak her heart out. But yes ruina....not everybody sleeps around. People find hard to believe but there are people who actually practice celibacy or simply disregard sleeping around.

hehe...

harke dai...ke bhaneko Ruina lai :O:O:O GRRR!!!!;oP

anyways have u heard this...we come to expect from others that we expect ourselves to give others :o)..

if u havent...u have not heard it ;oP...and hehe i dunno where i heard it...but im sure i did hear it smwhere..hehe...originality is not me cup of tea...nor is plagiarism hehe...so i did change some words...i think hehe ;oP
(ps one back to u for saying ke ke things for me team the last time!!GRRRRR!!and hehe i expect one from u too..give and take ni ;oP)..


anyways

john bro...nice ;o)...keep it commin..;o) and harke dai pani just saying his mind ke..dun worry too much hehe...lost of shoulders out there..readyfor ruina.. if she needs a should to cry on..dyam i should go to the gym and broaden me shoulder...how can me shoulders be noticed in this shoulder market!!!GRRRRRR!!! ;oP... hehe

good day..

danny
(sorry for giving a piece of me mind too ..dun worry still FOC for now ;oP hehe and before anyone says...who would wanna pay for me mind..hehe..even shit has value a mind of shit ta...abui :O:O:O...dyam a unearthed commodity!!!!!:O:O ;oP )

danny,

I believe ruina needs an honest person instead of broad shoulders.

john bro hehe...ruina needs a honest person re?GRRRR!!!!not neeed!!!!she deserves one!!!!!!!;o) hehe...

and if he comes with borad shoulders...hmmm nothing wrong now is it?hehe i mean i thot most prob broad shoulders most of the time means..good in swmming and swims a lot (or gym ;oP hehe) didnt realise it meant smthing else too..errr does it mean wat im thinking?;oP hehe

and john bro...kaha sajha ma jahiley!!!GRRRRRR!!chori lai pani haera!!!!GRRRRRRR!!!wife le matrai!!!GRRRRRR!!!;oP hehe...

happy new yr btw hehe...(got a new yr story?? ;o)..will be a good new yr today if u had hehe..)


danny

Well ruina might look for a broad shoulders....of course...who doesn't? But then she would also look for a well balanced head on propped up by those shoulders.

happy new year to you danny....god bless