I think I am depressed as well. before I came to America I was a very jolly person. there were no worries, life seemed wonderful and colourful,but nowadays i feel like a totally different person . i have no enthusiasm, no creativity, no hunger and sometimes no sleep .Sometimes I have identity crisis. I feel like I am losing myself.Is it just a phase in everyone's life or a serious indication of depression?

dear on the verge of setting sun,
try prozac if your depression persists. st. john's wort is another nature's remedy easily available off the counters at any pharmacist.
by the way, didnt you know that there are plenty of social welfare agencies around you who could refer you to an appropriate counselling entities?

if you still feel down, try tiramisu, cold and with plenty of whipped cream, believe me, it will invigorate your senses!
best wishes,
tiramisu

After consuming tiramisu, if you get a facial flushing, then don't go beyond that. It is the symptom of toxicity due to the accumulation of acetaldehyde(toxic!) produced by your body in response to the alcohal present in tiramisu.
Accumulation of acetaldehyde within your body will not only give you a hangover but also triggers your depression.
Rise but don't set!

Ok, here's my story:

The best thing to do when you are depressed is go see a doc right away. And instead of Prozac be on something else. St. Johns Wort is also helpful in producing happy neurons in your brain cells, but one thing that needs to be taken care of is sleeping disordedr. Use valium or any other sleeping aids available off the counter. If you manage to get Vallium, start with 10 mg, for a week, then get 5 mg for 2-3 weeks untill you get back to your old sleeping habbits. A good nioght's sleep is the must while dealing with depression.


Also share things with friends that you trust the most (TRUST not LOVE, because love/maya thing it doesn't exist).

Do you know some exercise such as yoga, qi gong, martial arts etc.? if you know, then its the time to do those, if you don't know those, then you can pump up the volume, and just dance to release all the tensions in your body.

Another effective medicine, if you are lonely and do not have anyone to share your feelings with:

Just write it down what's bothering you, just keep on writing.. and when you think you are done, just burn, tear the whole thing right away. don't read it..

If you are a smoker, just smoke. Your lungs aren't getting ddamaged if you smoke a couple of more cigarettes, so, smoke as much as you want to because it gives you a false sense of security and peace, and releases dopamine (sp??) in your brain, and that will make you happy.

Drinking also helps, but don't drink heavily if you are bon pills. Prozac and hard liqor isn't a good combination. When you drink, think that its all momentary and once you get your life back on the track, you won't be drinking.

Another thing, find yourself a job. That will keep you busy for atleast 10 hrs a day.

But to be really happy and get everything on track, you need :

Friends, Detertmination (Say these: I will make it big in LIFE, I will MAKE IT BIG in LIFE, I WILL GET WHAT I WANT) and courage. These three= success and happiness forever.

If you do not want to drink, dance, write, doc, then start reading Chicken Soup series that you can get in any book store in the US or read anythying related to your field/interests. You can also sit and watch TV all day.

If you have some $$$ then spend it, go somewhere.. see the US. Its a big country, so don't confine yourself to your room (but only if you can). Go to Grand Canyon, its not that expensive, go to Zion, Yoshimete (sp??), SF, NYC.. where there's lots of things happening.. If you don't have anyone to gob with you, just go alone (remember this nepali saying: jiu da ko malami) so, when yoiu know when you have to spend your life alone, don't hesitate to do things alone. It will just boost your confidence.

and live your life. I know its the hardest thing to do right now, but you will eventually realize that the key to happiness lies in you.. and that the world that we live in is nothing but a mirage..jagatam mithyam.

OK, this is all based on my experience. I hope it all helps..

And hey, this I remember from NBCs 20/20 (or is it ABC's??)

If you are angry/ depressed/hurt by somebody's actioon, then you know what you can do.. just forgive that person.. half of yiour anger, depression goes away.

I hope all this helps.

OK depressed manhe ko kura ddepressed manche le nai bujhcha..I was depressed. I did not get into grad schools of my choice, and so many things happened to me and i shared this with a friend who was in the same situatiion like me when i was graduating (2 yrs ago).. he is now doing his PhD on Clinical Pshyc. *(sp??), so he was the best person to rely on for help. He did offer me good tips.. and hoping that it will help you guys.. here's his email that helped me a lot in dealing with my problems...if you have old college freinds, then be in touch with them too.. if you don't know their email adds, just send an email to your alumni office, they can provide you with the email adds.. what else..just keep yourself busy...

Hey Trai,

I am sorry that you are going through what you are right now, because I am sure it must feel like the whole world has turned its back on you. I went through pretty much the same thing with ......, yes, cos she got into grad school whereas I didn't. Ultimately, my man, you must not give up on yourself, even when it feels like everything else has given up on you, and I admire your courage in trying to seek help.

Whereas prozac or celexa may help, you'd still need to go see a doctor to get dosed -- I'm not a psychiatrist, so I don't really deal with medications, though I've had friends and relatives use them (and I've been on an old antidepressant a long time ago). Stuff that may not require prescription include St Johns Wort, which I think you can buy in most health food stores or even supermarkets here, so hopefully you can find that in ......

But still, medication is one thing -- you need to talk about this with your friends, because it is not so much your brain that has been hurt, but your heart, and while you might be able to find a counselor, your friends and family know your heart better than any other. It may be tempting to remain in bed and isolate yourself all day (I know, I've done that MANY times and sometimes still do so nowadays), but you MUST go outside and force yourself to live in the world and embrace it. Activity helps your body produce its own endorphins to help calm your mind and relax you; go out with your friends, play some sports, or go jogging or play soccer... What you need most of all are your friends now, and for you to calm your mind to think carefully about what your options are, because only when your mind is calm and clear can you make good judgments.

Life is NOT over, for here you are asking me for help to get your life together again. I am not going to say that it is going to be easy to fight this despair, but that you WILL win in the end. It may take some time, it may take a lot of effort, but eventually, you WILL rise out of the ashes a new man, with greater insight, and a better knowledge of yourself and others.

Best of luck,

>****

***********
These words did help me. I relied on him because he is a good friend and that he too went through the same phase that I went through very recently.. but we both survived.. we both are well on our career tracks...i was fortunate enough to get a nice job on something that I want to base my career on.. but still there's this void which seems almost impossible to fulfill right now.. but time is the best medicine.. i don't feel what i used to feel 2 weeks ago.. things change but slowly. so have patience, determination and courage.. you will succeed, you will be happy.

Trai

Hi guys
thankx for the info u all have shared and some STRONG MEDS you guys have prescribed like PROZAC. I just asked a question that I am going thru such and such phase in my life, IS it a sign of depression? I don't want to take PROZAC cuz I know My situation is not that bad... and yeah the next one is the add that comes on TV some medication ohh I know its called Zoloft.......... I guess I odnt need that either...
Thankx for all of you guys' advice, I am gonna try to take chocal tes which I hate the most, i know chocolates help but YUCK....

Ola, I think dubna laageko gham is better now but my mind is playing games with me. talk about insomnia, delusions. flights of fancy, hallucination, manic-depression I have it all. I was complled to seek medical help as I could not go to sleep for four straight days and started to hallucinate - about what? i will write a story about that someday. I was on some powerful meds but they made me more unstable and I was constantly having suicidal thoughts, everyday after work I would drive home in the dark evening and as the snow flakes fell on my headlight I wanted to end it all by ramming my car into a semi or something. But the best advise if anyone is depressed is family. Just being with them makes a lot of difference and a good routine helps a lot too.

As for me things are better now(that was a year ago and I have quit taking the medicines that they prescribed me for bi-polar disorder) but once in a while I still get a bout of depression...the only way out is to make it a part of your life and not freak out. All the medicines are just temporary relief- that is how some brains work, yes it is chemical imbalance but it is your mind, nobody knows it better than you do. So any number of sacrifices you have to make, make it to learn to live with this wonderful and reckless brain.

mG.

i believe : everything what u do will help u enjoy life more. hope is what everyone needs. just a point to remember: CHARESH KHANU HARESH NAKHANU

THE 12 STAGES OF DECLINE AND MALADJUSTMENT

1. We gave much importance to ourselves and ourfeelings

2. We grew inattentive to God's presence and providence and God's natural order in our lives

3. We let competive motives, in our dealings with others, prevail over our common personal welfare

4. We expressed or suppressed certain feelings against the better judgment of conscience or sound advice

5. We began thinking in isolation from others, following feelings and imagination instead of reason

6. We neglected the care and control of our bodies

7. We avoided recognizing our personal decline and shrank from the task of changing

8. We systematically disguised in our imagination the real nature of our unhealthy conduct

9. We became a prey to obsessions, delusions and hallucinations

10. We practised irrational habits, under elated feelings of irresponsibilities or despairing feelings of inability or compulsion

11. We rejected advice and refused to co-operate with help

12. We lost all insight into our condition

The lay people suffering mental illness self help programme for you is GROW and the outlined 12 steps led to your down fall.

The twelve steps of recovery and personal growth are:

THE 12 STEPS OF RECOVERY AND PERSONAL GROWTH

1. We admitted we were inadequate or maladjusted to life

2. We firmly resolved to get well and co-operated with the help that we needed

3. We surrendered to the healing power of a wise and loving God

4. We made personal inventory and accepted ourselves

5. We made mora inventory and cleaned out our hearts

6. We endured until cured

7. We took care and control of our bodies

8. We learned to think by reason rather than by feelings and imagination

9. We trained our wills to overn our feelings

10. We took our responsible and caring place in society

11. We grew daily closer to maturity

12. Wecarried GROW's hopeful healing and transforming message to others in similar needs

Correction: read no. 5 as moral

It seems that your condition per DSM 4 TR used by US based psychiatrists is "adjustment disorder with anxiety and depression feature." Other term is also labelled as "reactive depression." It should not last over more than few months and if it persists you need a Psychiatrst.

Is it man you are new to USA and having a "cultural shock" in terms of your disorientation to the naya desh and bhesh. Every thing you hear and do is getting to alienated. If show then man, you need to help yourself by using common sense strategies like going out and meeting any one in the street and asking few questions, reading local history in local library or going out shopping by yourself in Chinatown or Asian bazaar to get familiar with Asian taste and smell in USA, go out dancing, go to movie and build up your activities to get familiar with your neighbourhood and local people and much more.

The more idle you may remain you will be more prone to yesterdays of Nepali good sheltered life and fall more blue and lethargic.

Be up and away man.

Ok guys, those who are saying that they are depressed etc etc may be not suffering from depression,
lets us analyse the different scenario.
In nepal, if you lived at your home before coming abroad (especially to US) were either
1.Pampoered by your parrents.
2.Had very limitedhorizan of friends and grewu up in limited circle. and spend most of the time with that circle.
3. Had no serious thought about life (like, life is very easy, everyhting is ok, I will do fine
4. No methodic (not approching the problems systematically and step by step process.
5.Hughly ambitious (ambition should be based on personla capacity)
6. Everything was so setteled for you (padne, jagir khane, biha garne bachha banaunee) the way was very certain.


when you came abroad then

1. There is no one to pamper you.After study, you have to go for work and after that you have repeate same cycle again and again.
2. Because of your limited circle in nepal, in abroad you cant deal with variety of ppl (you start getting frustration)
3.In nepal you took everything granted, abroad it is not you have to earn evertyhing (you are not concentrating to your work, your body is somewhere and your mind is somwhere, remember an accident is nothing but presence of body and absence of mind, so you strat making accident)
4.You have difficulty approaching the problems systematically and because of this you get set back many times (you feel sad now).
5.You had not set your ambition according to your capacity. Your capacity and your ambition does not match, you want to have easy life and you set your ambition very highso, (here again you start to feel sad).
7. You dont know how to live with high level of uncertainity. In US you find that what was for sure to you in nepal (padne, jagir, khanee , bihaa garnee bachha banaunee) is not certain, and you started to get scared.

The ultimate result.......you are depressed

To get rid of this, medicine is not the goal. You just have to analyse yourself first, 1.Analyse what were you in nepal, how was your life,
2.what you wnated to become in your life, do you really have that capacity.
3.May be you choose wrong field(if you are excellent in one field does not mean that you are excellent in all otheres)
3.Analyse what is your capacity, what can you do and what you cant, and set you ambition according to your capacity.
4. Do not punish yourself for making mistakes (mistakes are part of life, making mistake is very normal) what you should not do is repeate the same mistake.
5.If you make one mistake, learn from it, correct it and be ready for another mistake (we all have made many mistakes in our live, dont we?) and develop capacity to laugh when you make mistake.
6. Change your field, it may be that you have choosen wrong field where you can not do better, but before doing this give a serious thought, analyse, if you leave this field which one will you choose? will you be able to do better in that field? or you just you want to try somthing different?
7. Accept certain degree of uncertainity in your life.try to get easy with uncertanities



No medicine, no one can help you to get out of this. ITS YOU AND ONLY YOU CAN DO IT.
Before following what I have suggested, take a deep breadth, relax, forget the world , because you are the boss do things what you like spend time (a week or two) start to think during that relaxing period and continue thing doing relaxing activities.

when you have not done any illegal things, and if you have not deprived others from their right, you are a fine p[erson and everything is alright.

ok for those guys who do not belong to this catagory, that is, you were not staying at home with parrents pampering but staying at different place than home and doing all by yourself, you came to west and still get frustrated, I will try to put my suggestion some other day.

Dear dot dot dash dash like the golden days of telegraphy,

Why are you being so parochial?

The young guy is just temporarily disorientated in a new culture. We al have different way of coping in a new culture. That is all. Once he/she will be starting to reorienthimself/herself and build his/her own netweork of friends and is supportedby them the matter isj ust question of time to be adjusted in a new culture and start life with the purpose of expanding his or her horizon.

Thus, dot metrix or dash metrix let the setting sun rise again from the east again.

It seems you can still be usful with good news of dot dash dash dot dot....or simply as good dot....

Nepal tara,

Thank you for the comment. For me, it seems that you easily develop some perception about somone after reading few paragraphs from the person. I have no comment about that because ppl are free and I can not run after everyone and if I try that will be worhtless.

Now, about disorientation (as you suggested) of for some of our sahjhaites. I was trying to explain why it happens to ppl (the root cause). Although my explanation was tip of iceberg, because neither it is possible to explain eveything here nor I am capable of doing that (and I think no one else have complete explanation about such things), it was a honest try to help.

Finally thank you very much for the comment, this will be one more addition to my file of experience aboutthe ppl of different nature.

Maturity, or mental health, is the goal of the GROW program. It is the vigour and peace of a person who is wholly attuned to reality.

We describe a mature person as having:

* A strong mind

* A strong chsracter, and

* A loving heart

or as possessing the following great habits or strenghts which we call the five foundations of maturity:

* Understand

* Acceptance

* Confidence

* Control

* Love

GROW WISDOM AT WORK

* A friend is as near as the nearest phone

* Anyone who has aconscience has a chance

* Be sorry for those who don't understand (instead of resenting them)

nepal_tara888, I am sorry but you don't know the first thing about depression and mental health. I am not "temporarily disoriented in a new culture." That is called culture-shock. Everybody goes through it and everybody passes through that phase. I started being depressed after 3 years in the US. It had nothing to do with the new culture b-s.

You said:
--- It seems that your condition per DSM 4 TR used by US based psychiatrists is "adjustment disorder with anxiety and depression feature." Other term is also labelled as "reactive depression." It should not last over more than few months and if it persists you need a Psychiatrst. ---

It seems like you did not read what I wrote. I said I was compelled to seek medical help and was diagnosed with Bi-polar Disorder. It has nothing to do with USA, and everything to do with my brain the way it is.

Mental instability and depression is a serious clinical issue that is caused by a chemical imbalance in the brain. It is a disease such as typhoid or cancer. I did not choose to be depressed and it's not that I did not have any friends or the social network. It's just that I had no control over it. Sure being with friends helped but I never wanted to be depressed. Your seem to think that we are just bringing it on ourselves by not following GROW. You are wrong. You said:

--- We describe a mature person as having: * A strong mind * A strong chsracter and
* A loving heart
or as possessing the following great habits or strenghts which we call the five foundations of maturity:
* Understand * Acceptance * Confidence * Control * Love ---

First of all maturity has nothing to do with one's mental state. I have seen and met mature people, professionals, in serious mental conditions. You seem to think that I have a weak mind and an unloving heart? The terms that you threw around are just b-s abstract terms that do not mean a thing unless they are used in a proper context. How the f!ck do you control typhoid from infecting you? Same goes for depression. So you think that my depressed mind is unable to "understand" whatever truths that you seem to propound. Do you mean to say that if I am depressed then I am not a loving person.

you said--- Be sorry for those who don't understand (instead of resenting them) ---

dyam that does it, If you think I don't understand please atleast don't be sorry for me. Resentment is better than your pity.

mG.

Dubna Lageko Gham ji, what you are feeling in my opinion is not depression but merely a change of scenery (culture shock) or may be sadness. It can be fatal too, but try diverting your mind to other things and first and foremost, tell yourself that you are "Happy" and try believing in it, your lonliness will vanish.

Advice of an amateur psychologist ;-)
Meera

Dear mindGames or whateva?

If your depression lasted over three years then I wonder that you have had atypical case of Major Affective Disorder is Psychiatric terms and in layman's term Acute Depression that can be in clinical terms described as Neurotic Depression brought about by inherent manifestation of your Neurotic and introverted characteristcs. Furthermore, if you have an insight of the said depression and do not want to take responsibility about it then the hallmarks of a more serious Bi-Polar Disorder in the psychosis range cannot be ruled out.

Ask yourself the question as to why you blame others? Do you consider yourself to be Alexander the Great, when you are high and feel absolutely morbid and go without shower for 5 to 6 weeks arsing depression, and all these are episodic as you do not take your Lithium tablet or get a prick of Lithium injection. Only you know and I cannot observe about your condition. Most psychotics do not think they are unwell and neurotics are obssessed with getting better and that is the diference. The former make castle in the thin air and tha latter build that castle in the air without the basic foundation in this palnet earth.

We GROW are all mental illness suffers and trying to form a network to support each other by being responsible to ourselves. We know the world is not perfect and we can build our lives with a good foundation here and now.

That is al and thank you very much dear mind games.

SOME FIRST PRINCIPLES OF GROW (USE GOOGLE TO VISIT THE ORGANISATION CALLED GROW).

1. Personal Value

No matter how bad my physical, mental, social or spiritual condition, I am always a human person loved by God and a connecting link between persons. I am still valuable; my life has a purpose; and I have my unique part in my reator's own saving, healing and transforming work.

2. Self-activation

My personla contribution to my recovery or growth is irreplaceable to my recovery or growth is irreplaceable. It consists of:

(i) patience and perseverance in practising GROW Program;

(ii) the systematic development and use of my personal resources.

3. Mutual Help

The more maladjusted I am, the more I need help; yet to grow out of maladjustment I need to become concerned for and to be helping others.

4. Ordinariness

I can be ordinary. I can do whatever ordinary good people do, and avoid whatever ordinary good people avoid. My special abilities will develop in harmony only if my foremost aim is to be good ordinary human being.

5. Friendship

Among human relationships, friendship is the special key to mental health. As I am healed and harmonized by responding to the offer of true friendship, so the measure of my maturity is my capacity to be a true friend.

yeah, nepal_tara888, i reacted too strongly there. what you wrote/advised is good advice. take care,
mG.