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IndisGuise
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Posted on 07-06-05 8:20
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Divyaj was constantly checking his wrist watch. He set a reminder in his PC. Other days, time seemed to fly, but not today. Restless; he gulped a full glass of water and tried to concentrate on his work. After what seemed like an eternity, the reminder pops up. It is five o'clock. He hastily gathers the mess of papers and rather carelessly dumps it inside his drawer. Usually he makes note of what is on the plate for tomorrow, but all this could wait for another day. He must not be late today. As he rushes thru the corridor and impatiently presses for the elevator Rohit, Shama and Akansha joins him. They all know why he is in a rush. He has been planning for this day for quite some time now. But there was a lot to do. You know those last minute details. Shama, with an elegant smile says, "Big day huh! Good luck Divyaj." He could only smile and just then the elevator opens up. It is not that he was shy recluse, but ever since that fateful day, he really did not have time to notice anything else that life has to offer; of course beside 'Prerana'. Oh! how the time flies, it had been almost 22 years now. In all these years, he had one goal, one desire and one responsibility. So much so that, he never even had time to look up and see or notice those silent gazes of Shama.
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The postings in this thread span 3 pages, go to PAGE 1.
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thapap
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Posted on 07-09-05 10:53
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wateva.... malai kina gali gareko yaar.. runu man lagyo... sutna jau re... me ro sutne bela bha chhaina... (o: la la janchhu... .. timi nai email gara malai.. ma ta gardina.. aahile.
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ChaosMaster
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Posted on 07-10-05 5:58
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hey IndisGuise i like your short story, i want more please do write more, hey don't worry abt ppl giving you trash, good writers always have bad critics. Hahahahahah i like litrature, mostly love to read classic novels and shakesphere but with this busy life i think i wanna read short stories like yours. So keep on writing and just let me know when are you comming out with your short stories collection, i need to get a copy of it, seriously i need to get my hands on it.
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IndisGuise
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Posted on 07-10-05 11:24
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Thapap :). Alik bhako deemaag jhan timilai diyo bhane manche haru won't go beyond the first line :p, let alone make fun of the name. Hehe. Baru timro sapati deu na. La hai ta bujdai garnu :) ---------------------- Whateva, So much for not bothering to read. :) -Whateva you are trying too hard to convince me; alas. Thanks for at least getting a grip on the name. ;) -Somebody did say I used big words. It could be true; then again it may not be, depending on what you might 'term' as big words. I do not know about you, but I believe generally when people have enough time to express their thoughts, they generally tend to utilize their knowledge and try to encompass the words, phrases, structures that they learned, in whatever capacity they can. A random writing/posting in limited time, and a writing where one disburses much are bound to differ. I did read it before posting and for my taste, I did not find over indulgence on those so called 'big' words in one sentences so as to make it beyond most of the sajhaities. If one really think about it, most of those words although often used for your taste , perhaps saved couple of strokes for me. And please do not underestimate the capacity of 'most' sajhaities to understand this not-so-complicated piece. It is true that simple writing is the best kind, but one who can express all s/he wants in a basic simple writing that is actually good are very rare. It is a gift that I do not posses. I try, I am learning, and I have no qualms to accept that. But then again, if you had not noticed, lexicon is in built in sajha.:p. And using it is NOT a crime, guess what it helps and learning new things such as these is considered NOT insane and 'right'. Hehe :p. If someone did not understand it, ask him/her. But if that someone is you, please do not bother to tell me. Everyone believes you. ;), and I am no different. Sachai:p I hope you told me what you needed to. Now if you would excuse me, I have my plane to catch, a business class a la London ariways (Sutchu bhanya ke) ;). Often I felt like asking you, but I dared not:p. Even now i want to but can not ask that whether you were born sour or it just happens when you sit in front of the PC?:p Hmmmm.... Ah.. well, someday I might ask you, for now I HOPE not get an answer. Hehe. :p IndisGuise;)
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IndisGuise
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Posted on 07-11-05 12:04
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Chaosmaster, Hahaha. A book of short stories from me? Trust me I will not quit my day job. If that miracle ever happens, I hope Nepal would be at least as good as Singapore. Hehe. But I do appreciate your good words, although the last phrases were embarrassing. I hope you would enjoy the finale which shall be due in another two postings, at the most. Regarding the novels, I used to read some pahila pahila, but have not read any 'thick' manuscript for quite some tyam. However, one interesting thing I wanted to tell you is, a khaire person I know, told me that, Shakespeare actually did not write any one those classics that the world acknowledges as his. He is also vastly into these stuffs and actually is a member of some circle that is working towards bringing the curtain down of the myth of Shakespeare "re". There is going to be one movie on this coming in about a year or two bhancha. Among other laborious details against authenticity of Shakespeare he bored me with in one of the very rare evening that we shared was, he was a simple man, gai sai herne or something ke bahnthio, and one day he comes to London and without any formal education or anything as such, and BANG - writes the greatest pieces of literature in the modern history and in essence gives birth to the modern English; so to speak. His stories are primarily focused on court trials, how it works inside the palace (that gentleman used many technical terms, gave many examples etc etc), his best works have been so precise in details regarding the everyday tidbits of the elusive palace and lords, how could a simple many suddenly conceive all those imaginary creations, that too exactly the way it is. According to that group, and I reckon many others 'raicha' (including some senators keke bhanthio), there was this other man, who was actually an inner person who had access to courts, lords, royalties (I forgot his name, sodchu ma one of these days) who actually wrote that all re. But the fear from the right wing people, and some manipulation from the people in power - then created this quite possibly an imaginary name called 'Shakespeare' and tagged it on to some 'Gwaala' "re". He sounded so convinced in his words. I did not want to argue or ask much after almost 1 hr of deliberation. Hehe. Just wanted to share this weird thing to you and other interested sajhaities. IndisGuise:)
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Sristi
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Posted on 07-11-05 12:53
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IndisGuise jyu, nice stuff from you once again ...Ramro Lagyo!!
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IndisGuise
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Posted on 07-11-05 11:31
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"Perhaps 'someone up there' had seen enough of the turmoil.............................. Without her, perhaps he could not have made it. Indeed even she would be glad to see Divyaj succeed." Contd: He had been little fortunate, if one can say that that their dad worked in some foreign NGO and earned enough for them to survive this long, although granny had to sell most of her jewelries. But they had managed to save his mother's jewelries for Prerana, after all it would have cost them mighty now, and Divyaj knew very well that his father wished her daughter to marry like a princess. Under the circumstances though, He knew his dad would look on to him with a pride and blessing; after all he had not left any stone unturned. Ah? Prerana: the apple of his eye! As he ogles on a big framed picture of him holding Prerana when she was 3, a faint smile runs across his face. How oblivious she looked even then, but she never bothered Divyaj for anything. Maybe she knew her brother was trying hard, very hard. Poor girl; how often have Divyaj found her searching for her mother in him, but one can only replace mother for so much. Prerana never complaint though, neither did she ever ask him about their parents. With time, she had understood everything, often placing her comforting hands oh her brother's shoulder in trying times. Divyaj was thankful that she did not haunt him with those questions, although he sometimes tried to tell her about their parents. She would just silently listen, trying to comprehend the warmth of mothers lap and dad's strong shoulder. No, she never really said anything, just the "I know" hugs between the siblings epitomized the moments; their eyes though always conspired with tears. Uninvited moistness; it has a weird relation with those moments, for they often betrayed them, only to wash away the pain that surfaced, not the one that cuts inside and leaves everlasting imprints. (To be continued..)
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IndisGuise
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Posted on 07-11-05 11:39
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Sristi maiya, Howdy'? Long time. My regards to Ardent hai. His interesting analysis is indeed missed. Thanku and nite nite. :) IndisGuise:)
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perplexed
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Posted on 07-12-05 11:37
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Indisguise, it is a hilarious note you put in. I am sure he (the guy who gave you all laborious details) knew Einstein was a clerk, and worked alone, on all his creations? How can that be, how can a creation and imagination flourish on a man who is not even closely tied with scientific community? I do not know how true allegations of Shakespeare are, but what I know by learning what I have learned, he did not just BAM! Create things. Also, it?s long been said Shakespeare?s creativity arose from his surroundings. His influence was other plays and politics around. Among other things, we was also an actor. And, incase if the pointed myth is true, then all the things I have learned in a life would be false. By the way, do you know there has been a book on Abraham Lincoln being gay? There was also a book claming lunar landing never happened? To believe or not to believe, that is the question, so if you happen to meet the man again ask him for the proof on his detailed research. Here are some notes from -www.shakespeare.org.uk "In 1598, the author of a book on the arts, Francis Meres, described Shakespeare as the best contemporary dramatist and mentioned twelve of his plays, including A Midsummer Night's Dream, The Merchant of Venice, Richard II and Henry IV, all of which date from the mid- to late-1590s." Keyword here is Francis Meres. "William Shakespeare was born in 1564, in Stratford-upon-Avon. Located in the centre of England, the town was (and still is) an important river-crossing settlement and market centre. The register of Stratford's Holy Trinity Church External link - opens in new window records Shakespeare's baptism on 26 April." Keyword here is Records and Baptism. And what did he look like ? -http://www.shakespeare.org.uk/main/1/16 About the story I am still axiously following it, hope to see it's end soon. Thank you for sharing.
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IndisGuise
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Posted on 07-13-05 10:02
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Perplexed, trust me, I was as flabbergasted as you were. I did ask him few questions, but many technicalities were beyond me. Rest assured, I would "definately" bring that name (who the real writer is according to him) in this forum, in few days. I hope I can get some sources and all as well. I would imagine this should be an interesting stimulation for all minds that tickles for literature in any shape or form. By the way I just rest the first Paragraph of the this link : http://www.shakespeare.org.uk/main/1/16 ..and guess what caught my eyes? As quoted, "What Did Shakespeare Look Like? We don't really know. There is no painting, drawing or sculpture that we can say with any certainty is a true likeness of Shakespeare or, indeed, that was made by anyone who knew the playwright. There are a number of pictures that, over the years, people have claimed - or willed - to be a likeness, but proof is hard to come by. In what follows you'll notice the repetition of qualifiers such as 'may be' or 'possible'. " End quote. Hmmmmmmmm... interesting. The finale for the story is due in few mins now. Hope ya would enjoy it. IndisGuise:) P.S: La Nirman, for once I am finishin what I started hai. Hehe. :p I guess it has taken too long for a short piece. Perhaps sabai ekai choti end samma post garau ki. Hmmmmmmmmm.
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IndisGuise
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Posted on 07-13-05 10:38
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"Divyaj was thankful that she did not haunt him .......................conspired with tears. Uninvited moistness; it has a weird relation with those moments, for they often betrayed them, only to wash away the pain that surfaced, not the one that cuts inside and leaves everlasting imprints." Contd: With time, those heartrending days were history. Prerana had grown up to be a strikingly beautiful woman and was soon to be married. Divyaj himself was 33; a bachelor by choice. He would not and could not allow his attention to be taken away from Prerana for the sake of living his own life. No. He would always be there for Prerana, and now Anuj. After all his little sister Prerana have always been the focal of his happiness. Anuj; he beamed with pride as he thought about his sister's groom to be as he indolently gazed around the room. They say, "We exaggerate misfortune and happiness alike. We are never as bad off or as happy as we say we are." How untrue it was for Divyaj. Neither could he express 'enough' to himself on his misfortune then, let alone exaggerate; nor is he being able to articulate his happiness for being able to 'realize' this day. Divyaj let a glowing smile run across his face as he conceitedly looked around the various reminders of his multifaceted little sister. The trophies, medals, certificates, stuffed toys, other ingenious knick knacks.... .....Yes, Anuj was also a very accomplished young yuppie; a young MBA graduate from a recognized Yale School of Management, and had decided to try his fortune in his own homeland and not surprisingly doing well. He was just the right match for Prerana, and what's more, they were so much in love. Lost in his reverie, Divyaj failed to hear the loud screeching of brakes on the road below, and was less concerned about the tumult of what seemed like a large crowd and the bawling of the ambulance sirens. The knock on the door after what seemed like perpetuity, yanked Divyaj out of his catnap. He sluggishly glanced at the time-piece on the mantle and was shocked to see that it was already 10 o'clock. "How is it possible?" he conjectured. Must have been those blasted bananas that always seemed to make him lethargic, he thought as he limped to open the door. It was Sukha dai and he was holding Prerana. She looked as though she was hit by a tsunami. Lost and in trance she just stood there. One look at her ashen face told him that something was terribly wrong. She was shivering uncontrollably and her eyes seemed distant and dead. As he saw his bubbly sister in the state of shock, Divyaj's emotions went on kaleidoscopic trails. A chill ran thru his spine. And he bawled, "What happened?" "It's...it's Anuj," she spoke as if in a reverie. "He's dead." Divyaj's jaws opened wide as Prerana fell in to his arms. Sukha Dai said, "He....he slipped in front of a truck....stepped on a 'banana peel'." -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- The End. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Credits: Please note that the basic plot was taken by a story I read a many many years ago. Bar few phrases, I have tried to create something similar in plot, but different in the presentation. I hope with this note, I satisfied the moral responsibility for the due credit (to whoever S/he was/is). However,close to 100% phrases and sub-lopts are mine. Ref: 2nd posting 1st para*. 4th posting 1st para**.
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IndisGuise
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Posted on 07-13-05 10:47
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Also, for the fastidious audience, please ignore the typos. They are my worst enemies . - IndisGuise:)
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Nirman
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Posted on 07-13-05 11:17
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hey man...Nice one...nice plot...revolving around a kera's bokra... Nobody knows when the life slips by just like that... ~Nirman~ P.S.-Where is Ruina these days...seems like She has eloped with u..:p..:p..or maybe somewhere in between!!!...m just curious...or She also had just slipped by!!!
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IndisGuise
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Posted on 07-13-05 2:42
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Yeah Nirman, life is unpredictable. One can only be so careful. A miniscule negligible act can come back to haunt you and before we know it, it slips by. Ref. deko ni tala incase readers might forget the hints. Now about Rui-ko-ina. ;) Ahem . :( Aba ke bhanau ma. Not too long ago, Dadagiri had asked me the same thing. Mero :( muhar dekhera sarai chitta dukhera hola feri sodena :( . Hahahaha :p Mujse khusnasib to 'tumhare' khayalon hein. akhir usmein to ruina mere saath hein ;). Nirman, it appearshat she is taking sabbatical from sajha. Yaha, uu bina ma, Prakash bina ko surya; Sitalta bina ko chandrama bhai sake. ;) Intahaaaaaaaaa ho gaiiiiiiii, intajaar ki ((hick)) Ayeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee na kuch khabar (hick- hick)... mere yaar ki :( Aba those hiccups were in spite of she remembering me or precisely because she is not, shall be a $1.01 question. In the mean tyam, thorra daru bich pyaar miladeee? nashe di yeh baanda bottaleeeeeee dinchu moo. Malai nasoda kaha dukhcha ghau :( Typical eh? Tyasto slip flip hune apriye kura ta garnu bhena ni sathi ;). Jhan yesto bakumfuse kura nagarau bhenko. Bekar. Lu aba type gari sake. :) In jest, Indisguise:)
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ChaosMaster
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Posted on 07-13-05 6:19
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Very well written, the nice part was as that the plot went throught smoothly and you telling the bannana being thrown out the window was like injection food flavor in a beef, before being roasted. That memory of bannana came out to be a suprized twist in the plot. The other thing is you did not have to mention the bannana being thrown out the window again to remind the reader abt what happened earlier. In then end feel sorry for the brother coz all his life he raised his sister with all his hard work, and now at the end he is gonna live, the rest of his life with a guilt staggered in this heart like a dagger. Do you think he will be able to tell his sis that it was him and how whould she react. man thats painful to even think about. I would not go into the sheakesphere debate anymore i know about it all along abt the fued, in my english class i submitted a paper abt shakesphere not being fake, found out that the professor was a big beliver of shakesphere being a fake writer. It cost me in my grade, man i still think why did i choose that topic.
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Nirman
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Posted on 07-14-05 11:21
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May Ruina Come again Indi bro...maybe for ur soul and for behold of all the fellow sajhaites... We all miss her wonderful comments and postings... ~Nirman~
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Sristi
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Posted on 07-14-05 8:50
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Loved the story very much...nice one!! :)
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ruina
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Posted on 07-15-05 12:41
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oopsiee!! here i come ,slipping on banana pill thrown by indisguise :P as u say here is my smile for ya:) nirman, aree ! dost ne pukara aur hum chale aye .hehe good to see ur message for meh exam n stuff k soo was bit busy with padhai sadhai ani pc maintenance so was not around that much... hei thanks:) dada ma yahi chu hai! hehe just wanted to let u know it was good to see ur message for me when i was not around that much. hope u are doing good. sowwiee indi kind of look like message box hai?:D ani sachai whats with ru--ko --ina??didn't understand. sticking to the topic >>hmm nice story, i must say:D ~*ruIna*~
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ruina
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Posted on 07-15-05 1:52
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pill>>peel...like devyaj in story:D
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IndisGuise
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Posted on 07-15-05 8:51
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Maile jhandai, Tuje yaad na meri ayeee... kisi ab kya kehena .. bhannu ateko. Aba change :p Baharooon phool barsadoooo mera meheboob ayaa heinn... mera meheboob ayaaa hein ;) Wah wah................:D Meri Bijuli:), Tumm aa gayeee ho.... noor aa gayee hein.. Nahi to charaago se lau jaa rahi thi.............;) Dhet tyasto peel seel ko kura nagara na jane bahar;). Ma ta jaal fyakchu, a la spidy. ( InDI opens his chest and tears it apart with both hands and says [WELCOME]. )Hahaha ;). Good to see ya back BEAUTIFUL lady. :) ( Sorry Gorgeous might do a lil justice) :p --------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Nirman, if only wishes were horses, bhannu ateko, uun ko agamaan bhayo :) Thanks mate. Haha. And do not forget, I for one, am waiting for your next episode. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Sristi maiya :). Thanku. Howz summer treating you? "Honest and caring" eh? Hehe. Take care. In jest, IndisGuise:)
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IndisGuise
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Posted on 07-15-05 9:36
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Chaosmaster, Thanks, your kind words are appreciated. My only concern was would the reader be able to comprehend the subtle hints as and when I would end it. Since it took me quite a few days to finalize the finale, I was hoping people would remember those hints. Even then I posted the Reference. But your words have made it feel like; perhaps it worked the way I wanted it to, however I do hope it is the case with others as well. The reason I choose this plot is, first, I wanted to get away with mushy "lovy-dovy" stuff for a change. But most importantly, because I can relate to the emotional attachment and love the protagonist has for his sister.:) Now, it is indeed sad that Divyaj have to live all his life with a guilt staggered in his heart like a dagger, and I do not see how he would be able to tell his sister that it was HE who actually threw those peels. But may be he will. How she might react? How do you think she might react? It's not that I did not conjecture about this, but I shall refrain from going in to it. The title, "Fate and Prejudiced" indeed sounds akin to the recent bollywood flick, nevertheless my point was how one's fate can conspire against him/her, and be unfair and discriminatory. So your professor believed Shakespeare was indeed a make-believe figure eh?Hmmmm...You see the person I talked with was also a person with very sound credentials. Of course it does not mean whatever they believe is true, but it cerrainly should be interesting to know both side of the story. Regarding the said professor going for your grade because of your arguments; now that was not cool. If at all, they should be able to reason with you and try to look at it as just a paper, an assignment, not as your beliefs against his. I would certainly like to hear your points/arguments on this one ( abt ShaksP.) In the meanwhile , I am very glad that you knew about this controversy lest my words would be termed as "hawa guff". Take care mate, IndisGuise:)
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