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Nepe
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Posted on 07-05-05 10:31
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धेरै भयो गजलतिर हात नहालेको । एउटा शेर फुरेको थियो, ज्यान गए अगाडि बढ्दैन । अलि कठिन विन्यास छानेर पनि हो त्यसो भएको । एनिवे, अहिलेलाई त्यहि एउटा शेर (मतला) प्रस्तुत छ । अरु शेरहरु किस्ताबन्दीमा क्षेपण गर्ने योजना बनाएँ लौ । केहि फलहरु, नोकरी पाकेर, झरे रुखबाट केहि चिचिलैमा टोकरी थापेर झरे रुखबाट
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The postings in this thread span 7 pages, go to PAGE 1.
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भउते
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Posted on 08-18-07 10:39
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सोध्दै थिएँ पुगुन्जेल छुरा मेरो हाडमा के लेखेको भन न औँलाले ढाडमा Simply awesome ! अनि अर्को निकै बेर दोहोर्याइ तेहेर्याइ पढेर रस लिएको शेर, हराउने खोजिए, कराउने रोजिए सामेल हुनुपर्ने भो कुनै भिड-भाडमा गजलमा अस्कल अस्कल बास्ना आउँछ नि गुरू। उतिबेलैको हो?
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भउते
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Posted on 08-18-07 10:42
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रामो-राम, शिरिष गुरुले लेखेको नदेख्दै मैले कमेन्ट लेख्न सुरु गरेको हो। सत्य राम राम ल। कसरी दुबैको उही शेहरुमा बढी ध्यान गएछ ? ह्यात्तेरी भाव पनि उस्तै लेखिएछ कि के हो?
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miss_ me
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Posted on 08-19-07 11:11
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नेपे दाजु हजुरको हौसला दिने तरिका निकै मिठो लाग्यो। पेष्ट नगर्नु थियोकी जस्तो लागिराथ्यो ,हजुरबाट प्रेषित प्रेरणाले मनै फुरुङ भा'छ :) म नि केही लेख्ने अनुमती मागे है--- राजनीतिलाई पर थन्क्याएर पढे-- प्रेम, गुनासो,खेद्,सत्यत्ता, वाध्यत्ताको समाविष्ट रुप भेटे । रोटीको टुक्रो होस् या चिरा मुटुको आकार सानो भए के पुग्छ बाँडफाँडमा सम्झाउने तरिका निकै मर्मस्पर्सी लाग्यो सानो मुखले ठुलो कुरो अरेकी भन्छु र? :)
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CHOR
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Posted on 08-19-07 9:10
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Nepe where the f**k were you??? I didn't see you in Los Angeles for ANA convention.. are you so big and popular in sahja that you felt it would be a demise of your reputation.. hope to see you in Atlanta.
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Nepe
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Posted on 08-19-07 10:31
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शिरीष, भउते, मिस, हौसलाबर्धक र उपयोगी टिप्पणीका लागि कृतज्ञता है । *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** शिरीष, स्वतन्त्र र निर्दलिय सक्रियतावादको सन्दर्भिकता, शक्ति र महत्व लगातार घट्दै गईरहेको, खास गरेर समानुपातिक निर्वाचन प्रणालीको अवलम्बन् पश्चात, अवस्थामा एउटा न एउटा भिंडमा सामेल हुनुपर्ने कुरो विवशता हाम्रो नयाँ राजनैतिक यथार्थ बन्दैछ । त्यो सम्म हामीले थेगौंला तर त्रासदी चाही के भने हामीले "सबभन्दा गतिलो" छान्न त कता हो कता "सबभन्दा कम दूर्गतिलो" पनि छान्न हम्मे पर्ने भद्रगोल निकै समयसम्म झेलिरहनु पर्ला जस्तो छ । अनि त्यो "रोटीको टुक्रो" वाला शेरलाई पुनर्लेखन गर्नुपर्ने चही मलाइ पनि चाही लागेकै हो । जे भएपनि Slices of the pie versus size of the pie बाट प्रेरित छ त्यो । सम्पन्नता बिनाको समानता केवल symbolic मात्र रहन जाने वास्तविकताप्रति मेरो संकेत भन्नुप-यो । *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** मिसनानी, एउटा घटना सुनाम् है। यो गजलको आरम्भिक शेरहरु मैले मेरो साथीहरुको एउटा जमघटमा सुनाउने मौका पाएको थिएँ । One friend could relate it to his personal tragedy and was so blown away by it and the other friend found it inappropriate for that particular get-together for the same reason. I think that's the beauty of poetry. The language of symbols and metaphors used in it leaves a large room for different interpretations and connections. गजल प्रति मेरो अधिक आकर्षणको एउटा कारण यो पनि हो । Nepe
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sky
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Posted on 08-19-07 10:43
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awesome ! प्रतिक्षा यती लामो गर्नु पर्ने खुच्चिङ भन्ने बितिकै के आउथ्यो? नेपेज्यु, औधी मनपर्यो फेरी फेरी पनि पढ्न पाम।
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lootekukur
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Posted on 08-20-07 2:30
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"सोध्दै थिएँ पुगुन्जेल छुरा मेरो हाडमा के लेखेको भन न औँलाले ढाडमा " "Manjur thiyo mayako yo tarika pani, khedbas yeso gareu arkaiko aadma" (sorry for the roman script) nepejyu, one word! SUPERB!.....i am no ghazal analyst but i wish the follow up "shers" could be equally, if not more, powerful. correct me if i am wrong, but the last sher is supposed to be the most powerful of all, hoina?
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Nepe
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Posted on 08-20-07 2:52
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सोध्दै थिएँ पुगुन्जेल छुरा मेरो हाडमा के लेखेको भनन औंलाले ढाडमा मञ्जुर थियो मायाको यो तरीका पनि खेद बस् यसो ग-यौ अर्कैको आडमा Loote-jee, It is such a pleasure to have you read and comment on my piece. And on your query, yes, I was supposing the second verse to be the most agonizing one. The opening verse is simply about the naivety and the extent of trust. The second verse is about the remorse, anguish and grief. The protagonist could have forgiven that little act of insanity or whatever it was, had it been of his beloved’s own. But man, it wasn’t. And so it really hurts. In fact the second verse was really bleeding my heart when I was composing it. Thank you, Loote-jee, for your observation. Nepe
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lutii
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Posted on 08-20-07 2:55
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"सोध्दै थिएँ पुगुन्जेल छुरा मेरो हाडमा के लेखेको भन न औँलाले ढाडमा " re, bhanu ma ?
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miss_ me
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Posted on 08-20-07 2:56
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SurNaTal
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Posted on 08-20-07 3:10
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यस्तो पो हुन्छ सुर् ताल्, भवना, कल्पना र प्रस्तुती। कती सलल बहेका टुक्राहरु, सलल सुन्कोशी जस्तै। अत्यन्तै मन् छुए दाईका स्रिजनाहरुले।
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Nepe
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Posted on 08-21-07 12:03
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Lutii sis, खै त भनेको ? **** **** **** **** **** *** SurNaTal-jyu, Thank you for your kind words. Here is one sher from the movie Devdas or Choker Bali, I forgot which one, for your pleasure. Enjoy ! दिल के छालों को कोई शायरी कहे तो दर्द नहि होता तकलीफ तो तब होती है जब लोग वाह वाह करते हैं Nepe
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Birkhe_Maila
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Posted on 08-21-07 12:19
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सोध्दै थिएँ पुगुन्जेल छुरा मेरो हाडमा के लेखेको भनन औंलाले ढाडमा बिश्वासको पराकाष्ठा!!! नतमस्तक!!
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Tyra
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Posted on 08-21-07 12:41
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"सोध्दै थिएँ पुगुन्जेल छुरा मेरो हाडमा के लेखेको भन न औँलाले ढाडमा " .WOOOOOOOOOOOOW......truly mesmarizing lines !! नतमस्तक Nepedaa!
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Nepe
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Posted on 08-21-07 1:42
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बिर्खेज्यु, तिरुनानी, म पनि नतमस्तक है out of gratitude. And this one for your reading pleasure. I find it as an answer to my verse, re kya. मैं हुँ के हालात के तुफाँ मे तिनके कि तरह मेरी मजबुरी समझ मुझ से खफा होने से पहले Nepe
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Tyra
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Posted on 08-21-07 2:03
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kishnekale
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Posted on 08-21-07 2:45
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कुछ कुछ तो समाजता हु पर 'तिनके' क्या चिज है...even so, like the earlier verse, second line deserves another round of ovation...Shayar in the making rather
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Tyra
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Posted on 08-21-07 3:32
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TINKE bhaneko a tiny particale of dry hay or grass ho ki jasto lagchha :)
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Birkhe_Maila
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Posted on 08-21-07 3:48
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जस्तो लाग्छ हैन तितौरी हो नि। तिनका = त्यान्द्रा भन्छ नि "डुबने वालेको तिनकेका सहारा" भनेर!
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kishnekale
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Posted on 08-21-07 4:20
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कस्तो गालो भयो नि अगी नबुझेल...बल्ल बाबुले बुझ्यो नि...........thx Tyra and Mailadai
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