Karen had lost her husband four years prior and was having trouble moving on. Her daughter repeatedly urged her to return back to the world. Finally, Karen agreed to go out, but didn?t know anyone. Her daughter knew just the person for her.

They fell in love and after dating for six weeks, he asked her to join him for a weekend in the Catskills. Their first night there, she undressed as he did. There she stood nude except for a pair of black lacy panties. He was naked.

"Why the black panties?" he asked.

She replied, "My breasts you can fondle, my body is yours to explore, but down there I am still in mourning."

He knew he wasn?t getting lucky that night. The following night, same scenario. There she stood with the black panties on, only now he was wearing a black condom.

She looked at him and asked, "What?s with the black condom?"

He replied "I want to offer my deepest condolences."


A man meets a gorgeous woman in a bar. They talk, they connect, and they end up leaving together. They get back to her place, and as she shows him around, he notices that her bedroom is completely packed with teddy bears.

Hundreds of small bears are on a shelf all the way along the floor, medium sized ones are on a shelf a little higher, and huge bears are on the top shelf along the wall. The man is kind of surprised by the collection, especially because it?s so extensive, but he decides not to mention this to her.

She turns to him?they kiss?then they rip each other?s clothes off and romp around the room all night. After an intense night of passion, as they are lying there together in the afterglow, the man rolls over and asks, smiling, ?Well, how?d I do??

The woman says, ?You can have any prize from the bottom shelf.?

A boy and his date were parked on a back road some distance from town, doing what boys and girls do on back roads some distance from town, when the girl stopped the boy. ?I really should have mentioned this earlier, but I?m actually a hooker and I charge $20 for sex.? The boy reluctantly paid her, and they did their thing.

After a cigarette, the boy just sat in the driver?s seat looking out the window. ?Why aren?t we going anywhere?? asked the girl.

?Well, I should have mentioned this earlier, but I?m actually a cab driver, and the fare back to town is $25.?



A woman visiting her doctor?s office suddenly blurts out, ?Doctor, kiss me!? The doctor looks at her and says that it would be against his code of ethics to kiss her.

About 20 minutes later the woman shouts again, ?Doctor, please, kiss me just once!? Again he refuses apologetically but says that as a doctor he simply cannot kiss her.

Finally another 15 minutes pass, and the exasperated woman pleads with the doctor, ?Doctor, doctor, please kiss me just once!?

?Look,? says the doctor. ?I am sorry. I just can?t kiss you. In fact, I probably shouldn?t even be screwing you.?






A beautiful young New York woman was so depressed that she decided to end her life by throwing herself into the ocean. But just before she could throw herself from the docks, a handsome young sailor stopped her.

"You have so much to live for," said the sailor. "Look, I?m off to Europe tomorrow and I can stow you away on my ship. I?ll take care of you, bring you food every day, and keep you happy."

With nothing to lose, the woman accepted. That night the sailor brought her aboard and hid her in a lifeboat. From then on, every night he would bring her three sandwiches and make love to her until dawn.

Three weeks later she was discovered by the captain during a routine inspection.

"What are you doing here?" asked the captain.

"I have an arrangement with one of the sailors," she replied. "He brings me food and I get a free trip to Europe. Plus he?s screwing me."

"He certainly is," replied the captain. "This is the Staten Island Ferry."

A football coach noticed that his star tackle, Bubba, had so many women hanging around that he couldn?t possibly handle all of them. So one day he asked Bubba, ?Just what the hell is your secret??

Bubba replied, ?Well, coach, whenever I?m about to have sex, I always whip it out and bang it on the dresser like a hammer. That numbs it and I can screw ?em forever!?

The coach went home early that day and went straight to the bedroom. He heard his wife in the shower and, seeing a window of opportunity, tore off his clothes and started banging his penis on the dresser.

His wife immediately stuck her head out of the shower and said, ?Is that you, Bubba??

that was joks??
i think that was short stories
sorry la...